Well, beaches are closed from Mossel Bay in the west to the KZN border in the east; a ridiculously massive stretch of coastline. Call this a microcosm of the craptacular that was 2020. Nevertheless, Trident and their readers take it all in our stride.
In many classic sitcoms from the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s, the writers seemed to run out of ideas and occasionally do entire episodes dedicated to thematic flashbacks. Even as an impressionable and naive child, Trident was able to sift through the pretentiousness and call such episodes for what they really were – utter unbridled lazy writing. So, for Trident’s look back at the trainwreck that was 2020, we’re kinda gonna do exactly the same damn thing. And call it a flashback episode. (Ed’s note: Hippy Steve, my apologies for the reference to a flashback.) Except, we’re gonna highlight Trident’s most brilliant, memorable articles. Of which there are probably only, like, well – none. Nevertheless, we’re doing it anyway.
Let’s start off the retrospective with Trident’s first ever published article, an unbiased hardboiled look at a certain Mr Slater.
And who can forget Trident’s objective debate on whether it’s ok or not to pee in your wetsuit? (Ed’s note: It is 100% certain that one shouldn’t do it while standing in the parking lot talking to your brah’s.)
And here is a classic Top Five exposé on weird locals we’re all likely to have encountered while surfing.
One of Trident’s most popular articles ever was the Lockdown Beginner masterpiece, which seems dreadfully appropriate once more.
The Top Five creepiest locals article is about as invaluable a description on surfers you really don’t want anywhere near you as you can get.
Unlike this year, 2019 had its moments – like winning the Rugby World Cup, so an article on Heritage Day commemorating Siya Kolisi surfing with Jordy Smith seemed as uplifting as you could get in 2020.
Sadly, we’re unlikely to see many this year, but there was a time you were guaranteed to see some of these Top Five foreign surfers in any South African surf lineup.
Trident triumphantly established there is a science to your surf stance.
Despite the threat of having a loud whistle blown lazily at them; Trident’s journalistic integrity shone through in this brutally honest article on lifeguards.
An objective and accurate article on astrology and surfing was met with much praise and adulation.
Sadly, we may not need these first aid tips much if we can’t surf this Festive Season, but they may save lives in the future, team.
Trident wishes you all a safe and happy holiday. Until the New Year, stay safe and enjoy your December as much as possible with these ridiculous beach closures – and remember this article on surf anticipation – when next we can surf again may be all the sweeter for the wait.
