Thanks to globalization, even your less glamorous, out-of-the-way local spot will have seen its fair share of foreign visitors to its shores. Now, Trident isn’t about xenophobia nor denigrating other cultures (however, we’re not a fan of the intense reek of sauerkraut), but it’s kinda interesting to see how visiting surfers from other nations adapt to the SA scene. We’re not singling out any particular nation, so this is simply general observations about foreign surfers in our waves. In fact, this very same list could apply almost word for word to other parts of the world… But for now, let’s focus on a few familiar kinds of visiting surfers to SA’s shores, such as:
Number 1: The foreign surfer who can barely speak English
One would’ve thought any visiting surfer to our shores would have at least a working grasp of English. Sure, perhaps they’d be ignorant about the term “doos” in the phrase “drop in on me one more time doos and see what happens”, but how on earth are they able to travel at all without knowing some basics such as “don’t paddle around”, “don’t paddle on my inside” and nuggets of wisdom such as “don’t paddle out at all, there’s a 4 metre great white out there.”
Number 2: The utterly clueless foreign beginner completely out of their depth
“Trident”, you may argue, “being out of your depth in waves far beyond your ability to handle them is not strictly a foreign surfer issue.” And you’d be right. However, even our most ignorant and misguided local beginners would think twice before paddling out at 6 foot Supers without really knowing how to pop up properly. Not so when it comes to some tourists though. Some visitors seem to think surfing is only slightly more difficult than walking, despite coming from more or less landlocked cities like London, Stockholm and Harare. Trident has watched these kinds of surfers with a mixture of awe and sympathy as they try paddle out in solid J Bay, apparently not knowing which part of the surfboard is the front.
Number 3: The foreign surfer who thinks they’re a local
Trident has surfed many spots around the country in pretty good conditions, only to be annoyed by one or two surfers acting the stereotypical entitled local. Yes, localism is part of surfing. And has been discussed ad nauseum. However, this attitude becomes an utter farce when you realise the big local wobbling on the brand new longboard, who has been constantly paddling to the backline and snagging the very first wave of every set, has a very thick foreign accent. You can grudgingly accept locals at their home break pushing their manners a bit. It’s never ideal, but yes, it is part of surfing. However, when you think someone is a local at a spot you’re also visiting, only to hear them bellow loudly in Italian or Klingon or some other guttural language, it’s a very bitter pill to swallow.
Number 4: The foreign surfer who has more money than common sense
Ah… the Yen, the Euro, the almighty Dollar… they go so far in the land of the tattered Rand. The Land of the Rand. You heard it first here, folks. This particular visitor is indeed mostly relevant to South Africa. Now, Trident isn’t about extortion, taking advantage of the ignorant and/or richly minted – but c’mon. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who’s just dropped R 7k on a brand new wetsuit that they wear inside out. Make sure they buy that round of beers. Hint to them they’ll get far more set waves if they gift you with a new epoxy. Then argue loudly about how disappointed you are with its rails. So they buy you another one. And so on and so on. Until they’ve bought you a new quiver. Then burn them in the lineup.
Number 5: The foreign surfer whose culture makes you wanna punch them in the mouth
Perhaps it’s the fact that back home, bathing once a month is acceptable. However, these surfers are now in a pretty hot country, and seawater alone won’t rinse the smell of centuries-old cheese from their pits. And by pits, we mean armpits and not barrelling waves. Although, their stank may indeed invade said waves so much that it permeates when you’re getting tubed. Here’s the rub though. Whatever aspect of a foreign culture may annoy the wee outta you, no doubt others would feel the same about you if you were visiting their country. So be cool. Accept others’ cultures. But as Austin Powers’s father once famously said, “not the bloody Dutch.”
