Just don’t snake, drop in, smile too much, talk too much, frown too much, get in the way, take a wave, paddle out in the first place or be alive at that spot.
Category: Top 5
Top Five ways to deal with surly locals.
Alternatively, patrol the lineup with a speargun. Or an actual gun.
Top Five elementary mistakes surfers often make.
“A surf leash is a donnerse cumbersome thing, like an umbilical cord for your surfboard that just gets in the way.”
Top Five New Year’s resolutions no surfer will be keeping in 2023.
This doesn’t actually apply to Trident as we’re already nicer than your Granny who runs the local free animal shelter.
Top Five most annoying trends in modern surfing.
For instance, in 9000 BC, wiping one’s arse with a banana leaf instead of poison ivy was probably considered the peak of civilisation back then.
Top Five methods to enjoy bad surfing conditions.
Home brewed beer that tastes like rotting fruit, urine and mild seizures.
