Cast your mind back to say – May 2020. Now, Trident remembers just how traumatic this time period was. But think back regardless. People were getting sick. Hard lockdown. No apparent end to the curfew. State-mandated, therefore ironically named, self isolation. Financial instability. Home brewed beer that tastes like rotting fruit, urine and mild seizures. And of course – the highly popular beach bans. No surfing at all. Pretty kak if you recall. Which leads us to our point. After weeks of not even smelling salt water, most surfers would’ve given away their well hidden stash of 12 year old Scotch just to paddle out in even the most iffy, onshore day.
In fact, Trident may as well make that point number one of our Top Five list of how to enjoy poor surf conditions:
Number 1: Remember lockdown.
Okay, this one needs to be on everyone’s mind next time they whine ‘coz the charts said it would be like 5 foot and it’s barely topping 4 foot. Just be happy you can surf folks.
Number 2: Remember the pro’s on the QS grind.
When Trident has had the opportunity to rub shoulders with some of our local pro’s touring on the SA circuit, they constantly remind us how good the waves in this muddled but beautiful country of ours is. Now even so, there’ll be days when the waves are lame or sub par. The only days the J Bay event was run in 2022 were pretty much nothing short of epic. However, the rest of the days during the waiting period resembled congealed vomit, albeit sizey congealed vomit. Imagine if that was the only conditions on offer during the whole event though? You’d have Toledo et al farting about in brown, gravy-like onshore waves, sizey or otherwise. It’s even worse in the QS Series. You surf your event in what’s in front of you, and you’ll damn well be happy about it. Like eating your veggies when they taste like vegan heartburn. After all, eating is better than starving, and kak waves are better than zero waves.
Number 3: Every surf is a learning experience.
Even if said learning experience is ultimately learning to plan your life/surfs around better chart conditions to avoid arsing around in waves that have as much appeal as does having hydrochloric acid burns on your genitals. But seriously folks, taking off quicker in crappy, peaky waves. Paddling faster. Working weak waves. Avoiding drowning in 6-8 foot onshore whirlpools. Try to find just one thing you can learn on a poor day of surfing.
Number 4: Every surf is exercise.
Oh how Trident chuckles at the folly of those surfers who only claim to paddle out when it’s “good”. Nonetheless just like bad waves, good waves are somewhat subjective. But for our money, we reckon most competent surfers want uncrowded, 4-6 foot A frames, lightly caressed by offshore breezes. So how often does that happen at your local spot? ‘Zactly. Even the premiere spots in the world have their off days (see Point Number 3.) So treat every surf as valuable exercise. Work those arms and lats. Duck dive smoothly and with confidence, even if the wave itself has as much power as a high powered sneeze. It still beats sweating your unmentionables off in a gym, surrounded by bizarrely tanned steroid hounds with more visible veins than all the legs at an old age home.
Number 5: Surfing should be fun. Every time.
Yet we all seem to forget that. For Poseidon’s sakes, as groms we would have a blast in 1 foot shorebreaks. As we progressed and/or got older, we expected more from the conditions. And the little grom in us died just a little more each time. C’mon folks. Even surfing on a bad day beats working, or taking out the trash, or getting your driver’s licence renewed. It’s surfing damn it. You’re not getting your no-doubt thrilled doctor poking around your bum searching for a prolapsed rectum, you’re doing probably the most fun thing a person can do in the ocean.
