Ever driven over your own surfboard? No? ‘Course not. You’re not a moron after all. But do you know someone who has driven over their own board, in an urban myth kinda way? Sure you do. We all know of surfers who have done some pretty careless if not downright stupid mistakes, often resulting in damage to equipment, person(s) or reputation. Perhaps you are the nana who once paddled out while still wearing their expensive sunglasses, or while wearing their wetsuit backwards. Or inside out. Whatever your personal cringe worthy error, Trident proudly presents some of the more well known blunders we surfers usually make.
Number 1: Wrapping your leash around your fins.
Well. Why don’t you wrap your leash around a hacksaw for all the good this does. Trident wishes we had a better solution to this problem; after all, a pristine leash is critical to surfing. Yet, for all its usefulness, a surf leash is a donnerse cumbersome thing, like an umbilical cord for your surfboard that just gets in the way. However you carry and/or store your board, getting the trip-and-fall hazard that is your leash out the way is a real issue. Leaving it to hang loose like a wounded animal dragging its own intestines or detaching it every time you finish surfing is even more of a pain in the arse. Nonetheless, this still beats wrapping a thinnish piece of rubbery material around a razor sharp fin, voiding its warranty sooner than if you were using said leash to somehow toast marshmallows over a braai.
Number 2: Leaving the board wax up on a hot day.
Or in the car for an extended period during a hot day. We’ve all done this. And the result is never pleasant. At best, wax melted on a surfboard just before surfing becomes runny, even liquid-like. Sometimes it ends up resembling Freddy Krueger’s face. And at worst, and yes – we’ve seen it happen – the wax becomes entirely nonexistent. So instead of being on your stick, it instead becomes an unsightly pile of goo on the sidewalk like the melting witch in the Wizard of Oz. Or in your car. Which then forces a surfer to the next point:
Number 3: Forgetting your sunblock, wax, wetsuit or surfboard.
Firstly, let’s just make the following clear – if over the course of the last few months it still hasn’t dawned upon you – do not ask Trident for sunblock and/or surf wax. Ever. We are now legally officially sanctioned by the Department of Sports, Art and Culture to kill you if you ask us for any. Well, not really, but that will be our defence if need be so please don’t test us on this. Moving on. Forgetting essential equipment at home when off to surf happens to the best of us. Westuits forgotten because they were drying outside – forgetting to pack surfboards in a hurry – even arriving in Bali after 36 hours of travelling only to discover the boardbag is completely empty (Ed’s note: travelling to Indo and finding your boardbag empty isn’t the worst thing you can find in it at customs), these simple yet devastating mistakes happen to us all. Just not to Trident. Well, not often at least.
Number 4: Accidentally damaging your own surf equipment in ridiculous incidents.
Don’t judge. If you weren’t the stupid poephol who once drove over their own surfboard in the parking lot, you’ve certainly heard of someone doing so. Possibly while goofed, or distracted by the U21 girls’ beach volleyball squad applying sunblock next to their tour bus.
Number 5: Mistiming your paddle/rock jump/tide/etc.
Surfing at its core remains all about timing. But if your timing during, say; a rock jump – means you end up impaling your board on the one pinnacle jutting out of the water, then proceeding to flail about like a fish out of water – we’d say you need to do some careful introspection. Getting tides wrong, or missing swells because of work is understandable, but doing it all the time can mean you lose your stoke quicker than losing your dignity after attempting to surf with completely melted wax (see Point Number 2 above.)
