Jeez. The more Trident writes about the 7 deadly sins, the more we realise each sin is essentially more or the less the same. Each sin is essentially about being self centred. It’s all about me, me, me. Most of these sins (at least so far), can be summed up by entitlement, ego and selfishness. Therefore, as surfers participating in the world’s most egotistical, selfish sport – we are like – so screwed.
Anyway, here’s the cut an’ paste part again: Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Wrath, Sloth, Envy and Pride.” Also this: “Anyhow, the seven deadly sins is now officially part of pop culture. Each sin was apparently represented by an animal, so why not learn something: a pig for Gluttony; a goat for Lust; a toad for Greed; a lion for Wrath; a snail for Sloth; a snake for Envy; and a peacock for Pride. Thank Trident Surf for your next Trivia evening win.”
So here’s examining the Toad: Greed. (Or Avarice.)
Part Three: Greed: Top Five surfing sins.
Number 1: Greed as a form of gluttony.
Photo courtesy of Gary Blom.
Look, we’ve just said it. Like literally just said it. See the first paragraph. The overlaps between the various sins render quite a few grey areas between the various Deadly Sins. Nonetheless, let’s delve into what this first heading implies. Read the previous gluttony article to refresh your mind, but this first variation on Greed is simple – you simply want more and more. And more. More waves. Dozens, if not hundreds – of surfboards. More surf sessions in one day. Even more exotic surf trips. At what point is more, well, enough? One of the big distinctions between the gluttonous surf and the greedy surfer must simply be the fact the Glutton actually seems to be enjoying himself. Whereas the greedy surfer simply can’t accept having their fair share. They must always have more than anyone else. What a doos.
Number 2: Greed as a way of denying others.
This is a particularly douchey way to be. With respect to say – the SUPing community (Trident Translation: ie: ZERO respect), maybe you don’t quite get the concept of awaiting your turn in the surf lineup. But even if you are completely ignorant of this concept in surfing, surely you can understand why surfers are getting annoyed at you greedily taking anything resembling a wave that comes your way? While everyone else sits there, empty handed and staring daggers at you? No bru, let others also get some waves occasionally you gigantic tool.
Number 3: Being a miser.
Ebenezer Scrooge, the original anti-hero; was to Trident’s recollection absolutely loaded. Rich. Stuffed to the gills with money. Sure, A Christmas Carol is a story more suited for December because of its redemptive themes as well as being set around Christmas, but the fact remains Scrooge was absolutely rolling in bucks. Here’s the kicker though. His money didn’t make him happy. In fact, he seemed to love money more than the fact he could’ve actually used his money to enjoy himself. And therein lies the irony of being miserly – just having lots of something apparently doesn’t make you happy.
In a surfing context, perhaps this can be the oke with all the skill, the sick 4x 4 parked on the dunes, the third holiday home in J Bay overlooking the entire bay, the quiver of 50 odd Al Merrick’s… and he still isn’t happy. What will make him happy is anyone’s guess – apart from perhaps something administered by a psychiatrist. In contrast, just think about those grinning kids in West Africa and Latin America. Smiling, happy as clams surfing on old broken surfboards, bits of driftwood and boards cunningly constructed from old Checkers packets. If the surf Miser tried the same, he’d probably have some kind of mental breakdown.
PS: Trident reckons: withholding good surf reports is a form of surfing Greed when you always expect reports from others.
Number 4: Being greedy beyond what you actually need.
Seriously Dude. Good for you on being fit, but do you really need to fit in another sunset session (and take every wave you want) after 5 sessions in one day? Unless you’re training for a World Title, we say – have your fill and be done with it. There will always be more days, more waves, more surfing to be done. May you develop a serious cramp in your calf if you overdo it, we say.
Number 5: Bring greedy to shamefully show off.
Seriously folks. You’re not a politician. Everyone would dig to drive a McLaren. However, parking in one of those beasts, coloured an ostentatious fire engine red but with barely enough room to stick your soft top out of will impress exactly 3,7% of most surfers. Other beach folk may flock to you like seagulls around a few scraps of slap chips, but your money (and especially a shameless display of it) will impress absolutely no other surfer. Unless of course, you’re trying to show off to someone like Koa Rothman’s girlfriend. Which presents a whole new set of challenges.
