Like every conflict in human history, from when Ug first moered Tharg over the head with a rock for stealing his bespoke animal skin thong, the origins of each conflict can be obscured back in the mists of time.
Category: Top 5
Top Five facts to consider before buying a new surfboard to “improve your surfing”.
You’re not catching as many waves as you once did, your knees jerk, you fumble the take off, you need a sports massage after simply waxing your surfboard vigorously.
Top Five ways the Olympic surfing debut sucked.
“and trust us dear readers, we’ve watched surf heats from trestles through to Europe that had waves resembling crumpled tissues”
Top Five ways to ensure crowds avoid you.
“The earth isn’t a sphere nor is it flat, it is shaped like a badminton racket.”
Top Five ways to lose your temper before you’ve even paddled in.
The waves are either nonexistent, or 8 – 10 foot as predicted, with the onshore blowing so hard you can literally smell centuries worth of dead sailors from the parking lot.
Top Five items of clothing you’re unlikely to find on a surfer.
Under a wetsuit, what does one wear? You go commando, or wear filthy, ragged old underwear (guy or girl), or swim wear (guy or girl) – of which a speedo is most practical.
