Surf culture, and thus – surf clothing – has had a major impact on fashion globally. Simple, everyday items like Hawaiian shirts and baggies may not be automatically associated with their origins in the sport to non surfers, but yup – the apparel has its roots in surfing. Nevertheless, we surfers don’t like getting too dressed up, coz sooner or later it’s time to strip down to boardies or a wetsuit. Anyhow, unlike the above mentioned baggies and Hawaiian shirts, there are certain things you will never find a surfer wearing. Such as:
Number 1: A Blue Bulls rugby jersey
At least, not in the parking lot nor the lineup. What one wears in the comfort of one’s home is up to them, their conscience and sense of good taste. Almost without fail, if you see someone wearing this particular team’s jersey before changing and paddling out – you can almost certainly guarantee they are an outsider. Either that, or they’re a team member trying out this “surfing lark.” Or they’re a diehard Bulls fan. Here’s a pro tip though; in either case, do not taunt them. They will donner you my bru.
Number 2: A thong
Trident appreciates that in a tropical climate, ladies wearing g-strings while paddling out is a reality. Even in less warm climates, you may find the girls wearing them under wetsuits. However, our previously-mentioned gender-neutrality be damned. There are just some things male surfers do not do, regardless of your personal preferences. One of them is wearing a thong. Another, for example – is complaining about having menstrual cramps or that “these heels are killing me”.
Number 3: A speedo
It’s one thing to wear one under your wetsuit or even boardies. Trident once ripped their boardshorts’ backside wide open on a reef, and if it weren’t for the black speedos underneath – well, the whole holiday town would’ve had a perfect glimpse of Trident’s never-seen-the-sun-before-before pale buttocks. Under a wetsuit, what does one wear? You go commando, or wear filthy, ragged old underwear (guy or girl), or swim wear (guy or girl) – of which a speedo is most practical. However, unlike bikini’s on surfer girls, the speedo’s practicality doesn’t extend to wearing a pair while surfing – and nothing else. Trident has seen model type guys surfing in speedos, and it literally does not get more lame than that. Case ****in’ closed.
Number 4: A leash around their neck
Just… No.
Number 5: Water wings or a life preserver
A lifejacket is acceptable – if you have a certified illness or any serious conditions, or you’re surfing big waves. However, Trident really shouldn’t need to explain why water wings and/or a life preserver while surfing is just ridiculous. Unless you’re five years old that is.
