Although the furore over name changing has died down considerably, we decided to milk the controversy just that little bit further. So, whereas previously we had the Top Five coolest surf spot names in South Africa, today we present the Top Five worst surf spot names (in no particular order):
Number 1: Main Rights (Port Elizabeth/Gqeberha)
This spot can be awe inspiring on its day. It kinda only starts working around 4 or 5 foot and bigger – as any smaller and you’ll basically be surfing slalom through jagged peaks each resembling Mount Doom. As with most spots on this list though, the problem isn’t the quality of the wave, but rather the quality of the name. Main Rights. That’s like calling Kalk Bay, “Round Lefts” or Dungeons “Rather Large and Scary Gigantic-ass Rights”.
Number 2: Rincon (Port Elizabeth/Gqeberha)
Make no mistake, just like the above spot – this place can deliver – and deliver in spades. It’s a superlative wave on its day. However, being named after a famous right hand point break in California his hardly the concept of originality. You may as well call a spot Pipe. Er, wait…
Number 3: Reef (Buffalo Bay, Knysna)
For a wave that has a slipway near it, as well as a caravan park – one would think the originators of the name could’ve come up with something more like Slipway or White Trash. Still, Reef has stuck and although it’s the most gentle of the waves in the area, it too can pack a punch when it’s on. In December it has to be one of the most crowded breaks in the country, crammed with surfers, bodyboarders, bathers, snorkellers, paddleskiers, SUP’s, empty canoes, canoeists without their canoes and paddles heading towards the nearest unnamed creek. On the wild side, there’s a break named “Toilets”. That’s just too damn easy, so it simply gets an honourable mention.
Number 4: Point (Jeffrey’s Bay)
This is about as obvious as you can get. A point break named after a point. Wow. That must’ve damaged the brain of whomever thought that one up. Point was actually surfed before Supertubes, as back in the day Supers was considered way too fast by the pioneers of surfing at the time. Nevertheless Point is a super fun, decently long wave, very consistent – which can get pretty sizey when the rest of J Bay is on. Still – point. Really.
Number 5: New Pier (Durban)
See where we’ve been going with the last coupla names? It’s a little on the nose, don’cha think? Anyhow, this break was formed upon completion of the building of the piers along Durban’s beachfront. Duh. Nevertheless, New Pier is a heavily surfed break which can get really good, and seriously powerful at size, with barrels cavernous enough to swallow orcas whole. Here’s the kicker for these names today though; during the course of our research, such as it is – Trident has discovered the sheer lack of imagination and originality when it comes to South African surfers giving spots a name. Although it’s seriously unlikely there are undiscovered spots still out there – here’s a tip would-be intrepid surf explorers – don’t call them “Secrets”.
