Some of these trends were/are seriously lame, others were/are pretty functional. Yet, we’re not about to debate the practicality (or lack thereof) of these peculiar surf trends. Some have become less popular (or less visible) as time has marched on, and some will no doubt stage an almighty comeback. However, honourable mention must be made of surfers with mullets: short in the front so you can still see unimpeded, yet long at the back to protect your neck from horrid sunburn. I think Trident will single-handedly attempt to legitimise the mullet henceforth. Nevertheless, apart from mullets we present:
Number 1: Rash vests worn inside of wetsuits.
We’re not sure why this isn’t as ubiquitous as it was in the 90’s. This is practical as hell, particularly how the neck part not only helps prevent chafing and rashes, but also how it helps prevent sunburn, not unlike the mullet discussed in the introduction.Seriously, why isn’t this still so commonplace? As opposed to beginners paddling out with vests OVER their wetsuits. That, we just don’t get – outside of competition heat surfing.
Number 2: Waterproof sunglasses.
Why oh why did this become so unpopular, laments Trident. To be fair, these were never really trendy in the first place, just about as practical as you could get. Sunglasses supposedly always look cool, whether you were just about anywhere out of doors, in the car, a celebrity wanting to be unrecognizable, a stalker wanting to be unrecognizable – sunglasses just work. It’s debatable about shades indoors, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s interesting that a sport like snowboarding pretty much encourages the use of sunglasses for snow blindness, yet anyone wearing sunglasses while surfing looks like a right poephol – like the village idiot who forgot to remove their shades before paddling out. Why the prejudice we ask? Is sun fried eyes really so desirable, Trident asks? Honestly, we couldn’t give a proverbial. As soon as we find a waterproof, functional pair with a head strap – we’re getting some surfing shades. Nobody wants a guide dog and a white cane.
Number 3: Neon, well… anything.
Oh dear Neptune no. Sure, plain black wetsuits and plain white boards are kinda, well, boring… and Trident is all for a splash of colour so your friends, photographers and the NSRI rescuers finding you miles out to see can see that whimsical bright yellow from a distance – but the heady days of the 80’s and its eye-wateringly garish display of neon colour everywhere does not need to be emulated any time soon. Please.
Number 4: Hardcore localism.
Initiation for groms. Shotguns under pillows. Tied naked to lampposts. Gnarly fist fights and choke holds. None of this ever seemed fun, so thank Poseidon most of this has died down. On the other hand of course, poor behaviour and lack of adherence to the rules are more of a problem now than at any other time in surfing history. We need to find a balance between strong words and gentle hints at extreme violence.
Number 5: Saying “Surf’s up.”
Trident can’t quite get our heads around this. On one level, this seems completely lame and dated, on another – why shouldn’t surfers say this when there’s a decent wave? Perhaps because surf prediction technology has become so much more sophisticated, or surfing itself is that much more sophisticated than the innocent days of the 60’s when “surf’s up” probably meant a dribbly little 2 footer to ride your 10 foot heavy-as-Slipknot single fin on.
