Trident’s most recent Surf Science article was the beginning of our in-depth, no-holds barred gritty look at perhaps the most critical piece of equipment in our surfing arsenal – the surfboard itself. Like tennis rackets, soccer balls and golf clubs – surfboards are inherently simple in design. However, like the above mentioned sports equipment, the subtleties and complexities are myriad. Unlike say – a top of the range bicycle or a formula 1 car – surfboards have very few parts. Yet, the variations of boards could be even more extreme. To the casual observer, a bicycle is a bicycle is a bicycle. Yet, imagine what the longboard equivalent of a bike would be? Something resembling a giant carbon fibre banana with pedals?
The choice of what to surf is based on 3 important things: types of waves to be surfed, skill and fitness of the surfer and significantly, the body shape of the surfer. Frankenstein’s monster would probably be surfing a pretty large longboard or malibu, shaped like a Boeing 747 while a hobbit would probably enjoy an undersized fish. Even then – those guys can surf whatever the hell they damn well want we say. Nevertheless, your body shape will dictate how you surf and thus what board you ride for the most part. The taller you are, the longer your board should be proportionately. Surfing is one of those sports where being more slightly built actually helps rather than hinders you. Imagine being the Rock and trying to fit that massive frame into a 3 foot barrel. That will never look pretty.
The bottom of most modern surfboards is concave, designed to help the flow of water towards the fins. (The fins are at the back of the surfboard just in case anyone is unclear.) More than one concave is commonplace, while convex bottoms tend to the more traditional types of boards. One constant however, is the deck of the board (ie: the top of the board for those less familiar with the jargon). Without being condescending, this is the part of the surfboard the surfer always stands on. Whether it’s wax or deck pads, and until kickflips and crazyass skating moves of that ilk are regularly landed – Trident will safely assume for the foreseeable future, the surfer will remain firmly positioned on the deck of the board. In other words, it’s the deck of the surfboard one should wax up. Put wax or grip on the bottom of your surfboard in front of a bunch of locals at your nearest surf break and prepare to be mocked mercilessly for eternity. If not outright banned from the beach. If not outright directed to the nearest padded cell with nice rounded plastic cutlery for your custard.
There have been one or two attempts at futurising the deck – such as combination velcro boots and grip pads. Trident reckons this is kinda cool, but ultimately falls in the same lame league as motorised surfboards, SUP’s and wearing button up shirts while surfing. For some reason, spoilers such as those utilised by illegal street racers have yet to gain traction (Hah! See what we did there?!) on the backs of surfboards, so for now Trident, can only dream of this sophisticated surf style ever becoming a reality.
The late great Paul Walker, who starred in the Fast and Furious movies, was a surfer. So why not lime green surfboards, with silver flames, chrome plating and spoilers on the tails? Vin Diesel starred in Triple X, so surely it’ll happen, right? Come on Hollywood, life imitates art and all that kak.
The bottom of the board is the sole preserve of the fins. Initially, as discussed in Part One, surfboards had no fins. Kinda like a car with no functional steering wheel, but a wave only goes in one direction essentially so no fins used to be ok. Until one had to face other surfers in the water of course. Eventually single fins were invented, followed by the twin fin design and culminating in the modern thruster. Initially fins were permanently attached to the board (that is, until you rode over the reef or a grom), but were soon updated to our modern removable fin system. This gave surfers much more freedom over what fins to place in their boards. Not to mention making it very simple and easy to replace them in the event of damage – such as riding over a reef or a grom.
Surfboard tails and nose shapes can vary quite dramatically, so we shall discuss these part functional, part aesthetic aspects of the board in detail in Part Three of our riveting surfboard science series. Until then, Trident pines for spoilers to liven our surfboard tails the hell up.
