Way back in the early 90’s, a movie called Point Break was released. If its name wasn’t obvious enough (and if you’ve been in a coma for the last 30 years); allow Trident to elaborate: this movie was about a bunch of surfers who robbed banks to fund their lekker surf travel lifestyle, and starred two absolute Hollywood legends in Keanu Reeves and the late great Patrick Swayze. Kathryn Bigelow directed the flick, who – as of 2020 – remains the only female director to have won an Oscar. So in other words; this movie has some serious credentials. This was also about the time Trident was becoming interested in surfing, and the sight of one of the bad guys (yes – one of the bad guys) doing a really nuanced, stylish and confident cutback (just before he donnered Keanu Reeves with a few of his doos local mates *) will forever be imprinted in this author’s mind. Not an air, not a barrel – a super well executed manoeuvre that no doubt piqued the interest of an impressionable teenager who wished to do something beyond skateboard and bodyboard.
* Sidenote: How does one tell if a surfer is a doos local? In the case of Point Break – it’s really simple – the doos locals outnumbered the interloper 4 to 1. That is not cool folks.
Anthony Keidis of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers was one of the bad guy locals. You can tell who the bad guys were, coz they had tattoo’s and not just long hair. ‘Coz the good guys had long hair too. Anyhow, without making this article all about one movie; Point Beak is considered a classic – in a general sense within the action film genre – as well as a classic surf movie by Hollywood standards. In terms of surf subculture of the times (hardcore locals cutting kooks’ leashes with a knife – yikes!) it’s a fairly accurate portrayal on screen. Sure, Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) just casually switches stance in several sequences, getting barrelled as a goofy footer and launching airs as a natural footer. Sure. Why not. He’s supposedly the globe’s most talented soul surfer. But all things considered, it ain’t a bad reflection of surf culture, and it’s a kiff movie.
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So why does Hollywood, apart from a few notable exceptions, continue to depict surf culture so poorly? Movies like Bruce Brown’s timeless The Endless Summer (as well as its sequel) can’t count, as they are essentially documentaries as opposed to narrative driven motion pictures. Big Wednesday is another decent surf film, set in the 60’s pre-shortboard revolution if Trident recalls correctly. So yup, there’s a bunch of old school logs in there – but man, do they eventually surf some serious waves. North Shore was another film Trident recalls, pre-Point Break – but that was something of a pile of garbled arse. I mean, how the hell did 1980’s mainland America have wavepools so advanced that some kook from Arizona manages to win a competition in one then gets shunted off to Hawaii – which was the first time he had surfed in the ocean for the love of Poseidon? So, first time he ever surfs in real, natural waves was in Hawaii? Sure. Totally realistic. Paddling out for the first time ever in the ocean at Pipeline? Totally accurate. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Suffice it to say, said kook from Arizona soon realises surfing in the ocean is just a tad different from surfing in a wave tank. That part at least made a degree of sense. Watch him trying to duck dive. Unintentional comedy gold.
Still, this film is significant for having starred a number of surfing legends: Laird Hamilton, Gerry Lopez and a young Mark Occhilupo. Occy, for crying in a bucket. (If you don’t know who any of these okes are, you need a history lesson desperately.) Clearly, pro surfers are important in surf movies, at the very least as stunt doubles. ‘Coz by golly and by gum, they sure as hell don’t deserve to make their money from professional acting. Trident likes to take the piss outta a certain Mr Robert Kelly Slater for his stint on Baywatch; but it’s justified. The man can pretty much do everything, but his acting is more wooden than the upcoming live action remake of Pinocchio. Although some actors surf (Sean Penn, Chris Hemsworth, Jonah Hill. Yes, Jonah Hill – no jokes – check on Instagram) – very few surfers can act.
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Which leads us to our point: check out Sean Penn’s portrayal of a perpetually stoned surfer in Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Yes, it’s kinda funny seeing this tired surfer stereotype – but really Hollywood?! This stereotype lives on and on and on… Is that the best you can come up with when it comes to surfers? Blue Crush was all about female surfers, which was rad and apparently led to a boom in popularity in the sport amongst the ladies. Brilliant, says Trident. One can never go wrong with more bikini’s in the lineup, says Trident. Yet, you didn’t see any of the female leads being eternally stoned and going “Dude…” the whole time. (More’s the pity this author feels.) Yet, even so – Blue Crush still had its share of doos locals ever present. Jeez, whatever Hollywood – you always get the kak aspects of surfing right.
Baywatch? Fun as hell but sillier than a circus tent full of glue-sniffing monkeys. We all look forward to a day when Hollywood gets a surf film right; but watch the masses flock to the surf shops and the beaches when surfing goes ever more mainstream, like the Outer Banks TV show did for a recent bunch of youngsters. As for the Point Break remake – it literally hurt Trident’s eyes to watch it.
