Thanks to lockdown, we’ve spent more hours in front of the TV than we probably usually would’ve – hence, the theme of today’s Top Five list. To many non surfers, the sport seems very straightforward – find yourself a plank shaped piece of foam and stand up on it while riding an ocean wave. For those of us in the know of course, our sport is far more complicated and multifaceted, much more like the plotlines of certain legendary television series. Trident therefore makes the case for the following television shows being most similar to the often subtle complexities of waveriding:
Number 1: Game of Thrones
Intrigue. Backstabbing. Murder. Mutilation. The good guys losing. Nudity. Extreme violence. Castration. Skull crushing. Short people in charge of everything. Substitute sharks for dragons and you’ll understand why Game of Thrones is first on this list.
Number 2: Baywatch
Well – duh. Trident doesn’t give a proverbial rat’s body part how obvious this is, if we didn’t include this show – it would look weird. For instance, as almost everyone in surfing world knows, King Kelly used to “act” in this show. For real. He even dated his former co-star, someone by the name of Pamela or something, her name escapes me now. Still, a show all about beach culture and beautiful bodies just could not be ignored in today’s list.
Number 3: South Park
A group of foul mouthed young misfits navigating their way through a precarious and surreal existence? A bunch of kids with more savvy and insight into the world around us than most adults? Yup, that’s us all as young groms – before the real world sucked out our joy, enthusiasm and sense of wonder, without getting rid of our cynicism, distrust of authority and love of mayhem and mischief.
Number 4: Survivor
Outwit, outplay, outlast. That’s what each of us try and do when paddling out in any crowded surf break. Also, Survivor is at its core about a bunch of people who choose to be outcasts from broader society who thus inadvertently become properly in touch with nature. Well, that certainly sounds familiar. Although to be fair, actual surfing requires far less eating of raw shellfish than one would expect.
Number 5: The Osbournes
A bizarre, dysfunctional family who somehow still manage to stay together and win the hearts of millions? No, we’re not talking about Keeping up with the Kardashians, a show so far fetched it makes Ancient Aliens look like Antiques Roadshow. We’re talking about the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy and his lovable bunch of nutters. As a family, the Osbournes are not unlike a group of locals at any given surf spot. They swear at each other, fight with each other, occasionally threaten to leave one another – their erstwhile leader is barely coherent much of the time – if that’s not exactly like the average stereotype of a group of surf locals, Trident doesn’t know what is.
