Didn’t quite land that last air? A bit nervous to paddle out when it’s over 6 foot? A bit nervous to paddle out when it’s over 3 foot? Well, it’s time to get real. If you have ever had any aspirations of turning surfing into a pro career, here are 5 signs you may be seriously deluding yourself:
Number 1: You haven’t yet actually started surfing.
Far be it from Trident to be the crusher of dreams, but we think it’s safe to say if you’re 32 years old and have yet to learn how to surf – you’re more likely to be an astronaut than a pro surfer. Stare longingly at your surf posters and online video clips all you like but unless you started surfing in the womb – it is a damn difficult sport to do, let alone do well, let alone do well enough to be a pro. Rather consider something realistic, like lion tamer or pimp.
Number 2: You read a wave about as well as some ex presidents read numbers.
Maybe you do indeed possess some skill on a surfboard. However, being able to accurately predict what a wave is doing or about to do still mystifies you. Fair enough, this happens to all of us at some point we’d wager. However, if for instance you don’t know your left from right and vice versa – ie: you go left at Supertubes – Trident recommends moving on from pursuing that pro surfer dream.
Number 3: You’re about as far from fit and healthy as it’s possible to be.
Half a case of beer and two boxes of pizza. For breakfast. Once upon a time you were surfing yourself in your moer. Just about daily in fact. But being fit and eating well is, well – boring. And takes discipline. And commitment. And a total disregard of ever doing anything fun again – all in the name of ensuring you kickstart your pro career. No thanks, say Trident. We’ll take a juicy burger and a shot of whisky please. Just not every day – we still wanna surf as often as possible – but we have no illusions about our pro career being irrevocably consigned to the crapper.
Number 4: You turn your nose up if the surf is mushy and/or small and/or kak and/or challenging.
Similarly to point number 3 if you’re not surfing regularly – you can kiss your pro future goodbye. This point is controversial however, as surfing in less than ideal conditions is very few surfers’ cup of tea. However, if you wanna compete on the QS grind (to start at least), you’re gonna have to familiarise yourself with surfing waves that are, well – not to put too fine a point on it – kak. If you’re only ever gonna surf when it’s 4 foot and bigger, and perfectly offshore and barrelling – you ain’t gonna surf that much – even if you live in say, J Bay. And not surfing much means you ain’t practicing much. Over and above the fact you’re not preparing yourself for the lame conditions many surf events are held in. So get off your high horse, lower your standards and learn how to surf that kak 2 foot slop with some style and skill. Bonus: you’re surfing more. Never a bad thing.
Number 5: You’re just jolly well not good enough.
We apologise for being the bearer of bad news. Don’t shoot the messenger and all that. You may be good. But you’re not “launch a 360 kickflip after being spat out a 20 second barrel” good.
