Look. Trident gets it. Watching surf competitions isn’t for everyone. It certainly isn’t like watching tennis, or football or the like, where nonparticipants in the sport can happily waste a few hours watching a game they perhaps never once competed in. Although the WSL is trying its level best it’s unlikely surfing will ever reach a wider, non-surfing mainstream audience. Nonetheless, a large audience would help the sport overall, however ambivalent Trident is about that. Anyway, what we are discussing today is a few good reasons to ensure you do watch the next big surf competition online.
Number 1: You have money on it.
Whoah. Perhaps in some far-flung future, betting on surfing events will actually overtake betting on the horses or playing the Lotto. However in this present time; putting money on Fantasy League surfing is just a fun distraction for most of us. Then there’s the other kind. The guy obsessed with winning. Even if it’s vicariously through their pick of surfers, this guy simply cannot lose. They will either cry themselves to sleep if they lose money betting on surfing events, or go on a alcohol fuelled rampage through downtown. That being said, it’s kinda fun if you want to put your mouth where your money is and bet on the outcomes of surf events. Just make darn sure if you indeed have one or two of the compulsive types in your league, they have no easy access to a shotgun.
Number 2: It kinda shows you how woefully inadequate your own surfing is.
Although a huge, round 12 foot barrel seems somewhat unimpressive on the screen of your android phone, unless you are utterly delusional you understand how heavy those waves are. Tail high full rotation airs, carves displacing enough saltwater spray to change currents in the Pacific, snaps that couldn’t be more vertical if the surfer had a spine made of steel rulers; surf contests are mind blowing to watch in terms of the surfers’ skills. And unless you have an ego the size of a Nazare mobile mountain, you realise and accept your surfing is more the Flintsones family than the Florence family.
Number 3: You can make it a drinking game if it’s at night in your time zone.
We’ll try not judge if you do it at 10:00 am in your time zone. By turning surfing heats into a drinking game, you ensure there are stakes in it, not unlike putting money down. Unlike straight-up betting however, a drinking game based on surfing has limitless possibilities. A gulp of beer for every wipeout. A shot for every barrel that’s more than 5 seconds. Two shots per perfect 10 score. Three shots for every inane statement uttered by the commentators. Get creative.
Number 4: For most people, Teahupoo isn’t “just down the road”.
Now now. We hear you. The same can be said of pretty much all sports, apart from your local drunken game of tough rugby (which you’ve stopped playing anyway ‘coz Albert is way too “free” with his hands during the ruck). Sure, most sports are played at venues overseas or at least in other towns, but certain of the WSL venues are so far off the beaten track it would be impossible to even beat a track to get to where they are surfing. French Polynesia is a mission to get to from anywhere in the world, let alone South Africa. So are places like G-Land and El Salvador. And the day they do a speciality event in the Arctic Circle or Antarctica, you can pretty well be glad you’re watching from nowhere near those places. (Ed’s note: To many surfers worldwide, J Bay is as far away a surf venue as you can get.)
Number 5: How kiff was it to see the GOAT klap another Pipeline win?
Just before the man turns half a century, Kelly Slater wins another title at thumping Pipe. That alone is reason enough to watch every event for the rest of this year. Trident is also gonna save ourselves a lot of work, and lead you guys into our first ever article, a gushing tribute to the GOAT himself. (Ed’s note: considering it’s the King, we’ll let it slide.)
