The myth of the mid-length.

Seriously. Watch those clips of the guys surfing mid-lengths. Like, really watch them. How stylish, how smooth. How seemingly one with the wave.

But here’s the kicker. Those guys have names like Rob Machado or Mikey February. The spots you see them surfing on those glorified ironing boards have names like Supertubes, or are located in wave nirvanas like Indonesia. The chances are pretty good they were actually ripping on a standard thruster prior to the clip being filmed, before exiting the water and swapping their shortboard for the mid-length. No doubt they surfed a while on that elongated oval for the purposes of a few minutes of video; they shredded a couple of waves then got right back on their thruster after their duty was done.

Bottom line is; when you – Mr or Miss Average – see those mouth watering clips of surfers on mid-lengths styling their way down a head high slice of ocean perfection; you fail to notice or at least – ignore – the most obvious point. Those clips are of very good surfers on very good waves.

A mid-length will make me shred.

For some odd quirk of fate, this is reason enough for Captain Public to believe getting themselves a mid-length is to aspire to delusions of adequacy. What a crock of shit. Let’s be honest, when you see anyone on a mid-length on a fun, average day at your local – do you automatically assume they’re a master/mistress of style; an agile, sleek surfer who draws tighter lines than a 90’s Capetonian ad executive?

Well, Trident certainly doesn’t. Most of the time the mid-length riders are the ones floundering about in the whitewater taking desperate gulps of air like a displaced Koi fish, their eyes bulging with bewilderment and/or lack of oxygen. These are the same guys who will drop in on you in a classic Poo-man stance and not even have the good grace to know what they did wrong.

A mid-length has its place. Probably in someone else’s quiver.

That being said, sometimes the mid-length is the way back to surfing after a prolonged absence from the water. Whether it’s the pressures of one’s job, family – or you moved to an Antarctic research station for a decade – sometimes surf stoke wanes because of simple outside influences beyond one’s control. In which case, by all means – find your way back into surfing via the mid length. However, if you’re an already crap surfer, if you think your mid-length will magically transform your crapness into something vaguely resembling skill you’d be sorely mistaken. The way you currently surf on whatever you’re already riding will be the same way you surf a mid length. However ‘coz them big boards are so unwieldly, you can make excuses for your surfing looking like you’re trying to hold in a wee during a wedding speech ‘coz of your unfortunate wavecraft.

Like the Yeti and socialism, mid-lengths improving your lives are likely to be a myth. We could be wrong though. We’re anxiously hoping the Yeti does in fact exist.