One’s surfboard’s aesthetics is all art, as the surfboard’s function is all design and engineering. This distinction must be made right in the beginning of our article, as aesthetics is completely subjective. Completely so. Right up with politics, tastes in movies, music, books, what someone finds attractive in someone else, clothing style, and whether or not pineapple should be allowed on pizza (Ed’s note: That’s a huge, resounding NO. Author’s note: I finally agree with you bru), the stylings of a surfboard and what looks to someone is highly personal and subjective.
Sometimes, function affects aesthetics and vice versa.
Firstly, as we’ve already made the distinction between design and aesthetics of a surfboard, we also need to understand that oftentimes when it comes to boards, the function can affect the aesthetics. For example, the mid-length Egg. Now, nothing with a name like that would conjure up images of the surfboard equivalent of a svelte, beautiful supermodel. However, in terms of catching waves with ease, said board’s less than attractive appearance is secondary to its function. Sure, an Egg looks about as sleek and cool as a pair of your great-aunt’s crocs, but just like the much maligned shoes – function overrides aesthetics.
So there.
Asymmetrical boards, and stuff with weird-ass shaped noses and/or tails that might’ve come outta a surreal fever dream of Salvador Dali’s may actually serve a real function in waves. Even if they will always look trippier than a pink Lamborghini with flowers painted on it.
Eye of the Beholder.
So what about pure aesthetics. What you deem to look cool and/or attractive and/or beautiful and/or unique and/or badass. Many surfers prefer the clean lines of a white-as-the-driven snow, unadorned shortboard (or longboard for that matter.) However, after a few months in the sun, that pristine white will go same pale yellow colour of your seat soaked white gym top. So unless you’re absolutely passionate about pastel colours that strongly resemble urine, we figure the aesthetics of pure white surfboards do have a shelf life.
Perhaps you’re one of those surfers who prefer surfboards of a single hue or tone; yellow, blue, red, green – whatever takes your fancy. Although, there is some mostly anecdotal evidence of sharks seemingly preferring to attack yellow surfboards. While this may be utter codswallop or merely circumstantial, Trident isn’t taking any chances with a surfboard colour scheme nicknamed “yum-yum yellow” by quite a few surfers we’ve spoke to of a scientific slant.
The impractical nature of beauty.
Then there is the really killer, sleek styling – in Trident’s opinion at least – of full wrap carbon boards. These usually are made for epoxy/EPS surfboards, which aren’t a fan of heat. So the wildly impractical (but wildly cool) look of a full carbon board becomes a bit of a juggling act. See this previous Surf Science article on the science of colour in surfing.
So what then? Random graphic shapes? Abstract designs? Andy Warhol-esque pop art on the deck of your surfboard? Hmmm. Trident likes that last one. Maybe instead of Campbell soup cans or Marilyn Monroe though, one could have a facsimile of lithographic prints of boardshorts or Kelly Slater something. Actually scrap that – that’s lame. Go with Warhol’s banana or something.
Stickers then? Except, what surf company these days is generous enough to dish out free decals with their clothing, wetsuits or accessories these days? Ja – We say; work on that surf companies. Free advertising gig there ya check.
Ag who cares what your surfboard looks like really hey?
At the end of the day, the artwork on your board, and the aesthetics of your board – are all forms of self expression. So go for it we say. Airbrush that pic of Smurfette in a bikini onto the deck of your board. (Ed’s note: This is an old pop culture reference isn’t it? Author’s note: Okay then, airbrush that pic of Unikitty in a bikini rather. Even though that’s just all kinds of odd.) After all, what you have on your board and whether it looks lekker or not is purely subjective. I mean, Ben Gravy has the pineapple skull thing on his boards, which is pretty cool – but it’s not to say he’ll put pineapple on his pizza like some kind of social leper.
Just enjoy your surfboard damn it. But don’t get us started on the first time you ding the bleddy thing.
