Alrighty then. So, although South Africa’s overall Olympic tale continues – our tale of South African surfing in its Olympic debut has come to an agreeable end.
Just last week Trident posted this article about whether or not surfing should be in the Olympics in the first place. The general consensus and definitive conclusion was: “we dunno.” Still, there have been some truly bizarre sports included in the history of the Olympics. “Sports” such as synchronised sleeping, badger wrestling, poledancing, obstacle course texting, long distance sneezing, online stalking, yodelling, yak headbutting, keyboard tapping, in-law beating, solo licking, pistol duelling, competitive moonwalking, arse-kicking, stoat juggling, toilet trampolining, walking, tantrum-throwing, erotic football, underwater napping, drunken cycling, mouth golf, stairwell tripping, poodle clipping, endurance screaming, light saber twirling, long distance sleepwalking, egg stealing, speed drooling, live pigeon shooting, ketchup bottle squirting, blindfold spitting, buttock slapping, wombat racing (this was an out-and-out failure as only the Ozzies had a team), mouth breathing, slow-motion rugby, tax-dodging, underwear swapping, spaghetti knitting, synchronised retching, underwater whistling, turd badminton and speed-limping. All probably deserve to be there even less than surfing or skateboarding – we’ll accept that as Gospel. (Author’s note: Some of these sports are real. First person to point all the actual Olympic sports in the comments gets a set wave from Trident. Funnily enough, one of the real Olympic sports is not drunken cycling. Go figure.)
Annnywaaayyyy…
Why no Men’s Surf Team?
Trident remains exceptionally bummed Jordy, or any one of our other talented male surfers from South Africa’s brilliant surfing pool weren’t in the competition. Weird, that. It’s sorta like having a Rugby World Cup without the All Blacks. Or the Bokke. Pretty sure the other Men’s teams were stoked they had no South African competitors, but this is moot now.
By now we all know about Bianca’s excellent achievement of a silver medal, thanks to surfing her heart out to get to the final. She beat some real contenders along the way to get there. Fact. Indeed, even the American commentator said as much, and congrats to her for the lack of bias. (She even admitted Carissa had a far easier path to the Olympic Gold.)
Speaking of the Olympic commentary, Trident’s opinion is that it was top notch. Far better than the usual WSL drivel during slow and uninteresting heats, when the voices start sounding like someone farting through a vuvuzela. The British commentator, who apparently had no experience in surfing whatsoever – was particularly refreshing. He was totally up for it and enthusiastic, and sounded genuinely stoked with some of the bigger moves an’ stuff. Although, why in the name of Neptune’s ‘nads the Olympic committee would hire a surf commentator that knows precisely zero about surfing is beyond this author.
At the end of the day, Trident predicts a massive surge in the popularity of Women’s surfing once again in this country, while general interest will remain more or less constant. Perhaps the sport will continue to be legitimised, especially as more traditional and/or team sports continue to be plagued by, well – this plague.
Either way, anticipate another huge new horde of frothing new groms at your local. As well as some new wannabe’s, self-appointed surf coaches and other surf shysters. Teach these shady chancers the rules gently, but don’t hold back on administering a well earned snotklap if these hangers-on continue to ignore the rules. Your local surf spot isn’t an Olympic Games venue after all.
