Yesterday, Trident published the Top Five facts to consider before buying a new surfboard to “improve your surfing”. Now, assuming you read it in wonderment and awe, read on to consider a few good reasons to indeed splurge your hard earned cash on a new board instead of less frivolous things like tequila squirt guns or glow-in-the-dark viking helmets.
New board: Froth level – high.
So, you’ve worked on your fitness, you’re trying out different surf breaks. You’ve even watched yourself surfing in video clips in which you greatly resemble Taj Burrow in his prime, combined with Gabe flair, Jordy power and the devastatingly good looks of Michelangelo’s statue of David. You haven’t so much as looked at a carbohydrate, sniffed gluten or mainlined frying oil for almost three months. Yet – your surfing performance still seems lacklustre. Well, perhaps it’s finally time. Only NOW does Trident suggest even considering a new surfboard. Note: quality secondhand boards do count, but make sure said stick doesn’t resemble old swiss cheese in their marketplace photo’s and/or the seller has facial tattoo’s and is throwing gang signs in their photo.
High time for a new stick if:
• Your board cannot accommodate your skill/fitness level. This might sound arrogant, but we all reach this point (hopefully). The midlength, soft-top or minimal that you started out with needs to be put away. Preferably buried in a cemetery, with a wreath and all.
• That once dreamboard has turned into a nightmare. It’s old, real old. It’s more waterlogged than a wet newspaper, it’s about as buoyant as a wheel spanner, it’s given you chest hair mange and a mate who once borrowed the board swears it once gave him an STD. The time has come my bru, let it go.
• Current board is not a good fit for your homebreak. Although Trident would not recommend going out at 7ft cranking supers on an avant garde, retro log, neither would we recommend taking your 6’9 Gun to Muizenberg. Horses for courses peeps. Talk to a shaper and figure out what you want and need.
• Failing to keep with the times. Bob Dylan once sang: “the times they are a changing”, and ironically – change is the only thing that universally does NOT change. Lighter boards, stronger materials, fin systems and better fins. These things really can improve your surfing. Just try it, and ignore your old log made from recycled cardboard, hemp and the crushed bones of oil company CEO’s, Hippie.
• You’re currently surfing on a SUP. For Neptune’s sakes, ride any board you damn well want but a SUP.
“Ezra talks to an old surfer” by santheo is licensed with CC BY-NC 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/
