I’m a big fan of both rugby and surfing. But seriously, you’d think the Rugby World Cup matches would be far better organised. After all, RWC is supposedly the third biggest sporting spectacle in the world! So why on earth do they have Springbok games being played during epic waves in South Africa?! What kind of half baked sporting body is this? Why can’t they simply reschedule the odd game here and there so I can get properly barrelled, then head home for a beer, braai and a Bok game they moved to a few hours later? We deserve better. Mampara McIntyre, Springbok
Just yesterday I went to my local surf spot to practice some big airs on my new potato chip shortboard. But I actually stand up paddle board. And know precise sweet Fanny Apples about big airs. And surfing in general. Also, I have no local surf spot as everyone has chased me away. So I went to the local liquor store instead, bought a quart and sat outside, drinking and sniffing Pritt glue. Has-Been Van Tonder, Rundown Ablution Block
The old saying “a good deed never goes unpunished” rings true. Although I make a point of always picking up as much rubbish as I can along the beach after a surf, today I made the unpleasant discovery that discarded 24 beer case cardboard is the perfect substrate to wipe a hobo’s mangy, fungus-riddled arse. #winningatlife Goodguy Sausage, Pristineville
Okay, I’m back with some more RWC facts everyone seems to have missed: 1. SA are the only team to have won the World Cup in three different continents. 2. Many South Africans don’t appear to know the difference between the rugby ball emoji and the American football ball emoji. 3. Many South Africans don’t appear to know that once you start typing the word rugby, a rugby ball emoji automatically appears. Same story when you begin typing the word “waves”. Although how magical would it be when you type the word “waves” and waves magically appear when it’s flat. I’m #inventing that. Mampara McIntyre, Springbok
No matter who you are, when surfing and you get a bluebottle’s tentacles wrapped around you, you turn into Taylor Swift. “I shake it off, I shake it off.” T Swift, Swift Mansion
