Reef cuts an’ scars.

If you’re one of those delicate, booty-wearing types – then perhaps this article will be irrelevant to you. However, if you’re one of those rugged, “I-need-to-connect-with-the-surfboard-under-my-feet” types, no doubt you’ve experienced the rather mild-sounding “reef cut” a few times in your life.

We surfers all know the anecdote of how minor cuts suffered outside the ocean seem to heal much quicker when you surf and expose said wounds to saltwater. (Ed’s note: Readers, please be advised this technique will not heal severe cuts, like a slit throat or severed limbs. Or severed head.) However, we are all equally aware of how even the most insignificant of reef cuts suffered while freestyle break-dancing across the reef at J Bay seem to take forever to heal. And that’s only after a period of severe infection. In fact, the smallest cuts incurred while in the sea more often than not become really infected to the point of resembling gangrene. It’s even worse in dirty water. And as for the tropics – like in Indo – even minor reef cuts on live coral have the potential to turn a nasty red and inflate the surrounding skin like Kanye West’s ego.

Reef scars – badges of honour?

Anyhow, once the damn cuts have healed, you’re probably gonna be sporting Frankenstein monster-like scars for the rest of your life. Reef scars are one thing on your extremities, but if they’re on your face they may make you resemble a Nazi war criminal from a videogame or the bad guys in a 70’s kung fu movie. Still, reef scars can look like a badge of honour once healed. Unless of course, you injured yourself in some humiliating way. Like slipping your balls off while wearing high heels and posing for your cross dressing Instagram account. Although in Woke culture, this too would be something to be proud of.

Moving on. ‘Coz we’re focussing on reef cuts incurred while surfing only.

Without over-simplifying any potential injury, Trident will divide most reef cuts into either severe or minor. Wow. Some people study seven years of medicine for that insight. Nevertheless we won’t claim to be qualified on severe injuries, so instead let’s just focus on minor reef cuts.

And once again, these minor cuts can be categorised as: injuries occurred from nature itself and injuries occurred while surfing. In other words, some cuts are suffered from stuff such as the obvious sharp reefs, sea urchin spines, barnacles and mussels. Examples of cuts incurred while actually surfing include injuries inflicted by your own board – its sharp, pointy nose and fins, or other surfers’ boards – or other surfers teeth or fists when they lose their temper with you.

Treatment

Assuming the cut is only a scratch, as any severe wounds cannot be covered in this article due to Trident’s poor legal representation – it’s probably best to exit the water. Unless of course, you feel like any minor scratch turning into a fun game of Russian roulette with any curious sharks in the general vicinity sniffing your blood. Once out of the water, clean as best as you can with whatever is available. Clean water, the tears of your friends unhappy you’re suddenly leaving the lineup devoid the sense of joy you bring to it – whatever is handy for disinfecting wounds. If you don’t have a medical kit around (you really should have one in your car you poephol), head on home or to the nearest pharmacy, and get your hands on hydrogen peroxide (first prize) surgical spirits or any product designed to prevent infection. If none of these are available, grain alcohol may work, but this is uncertain (see our poor legal representation comment earlier). Nevertheless, a little care and DIY medical attention should do the trick. However if any of the following occur: redness of skin and swelling, pus, fevers, sweats, tiredness, reduced appetite, nausea, irritability, moping about all grumpy while muttering “I’m fine”, trumpet-like flatulence, the ability to hear colours, speaking in tongues, uncontrollable skipping, the urge to burst into song, the sudden development of superpowers, your skin turning grey and dead coupled with an odd craving for human brains, a sudden appreciation for the E! Channel, the urge to start riding a SUP – seek medical help immediately.