I say we elect our local surf spot car guard as mayor. Simply because he couldn’t possibly do a WORSE job than our current mayor. And hopefully as mayor, he’ll stop cheekily asking for a tip before I even step out of my car. Although, knowing the calibre of our politicians only too well – that’ll happen. Cedric Cynic, Jackass Point
Last week I rediscovered the sheer joy, unbridled excitement and white knuckle adventure of making shadow animals on the wall. With candlelight. I then progressed to shadow surfers, getting barrelled with my one hand curved like a capital C (forgive me if I’m being unclear – like so: C). Thanks Eskom, you’re a peach. Spell it Out, In a Cave
Here’s a valid point about zipperless wetsuits – it’s definitely far easier and more comfortable to stash plastic trash you find floating in the ocean in the chest part, compared to a front zip or a back zip. For responsible disposal after your surf. Granted, it’s so easy to do you may end up looking like you have breast implants – but who said you need to look cool while saving the environment? Burning Man, Birmingham
Why pay good money to drink in bars and nightclubs? You can rather simply pull into any surf spot parking lot, park your car illegally and sit and drink in the driver’s seat. Awesome! Or if you’re really feeling adventurous; get out of your car and sit by the ablution block and drink moonshine booze that smells like fermented sweat from a hobo’s bum, #win #lifehacks! Scent Mampoer, Hairclip Hangklip
100% organic surf wax made from pure walrus earwax. Who’s keen on this exciting business opportunity? Biltong Gates, Gated Community
