There are okes in the lineup with nostril hair long enough to tie into a man-bun. Come on. It’s 2023 after all. It’s called grooming people – and it’s not just for your trousers area. Tealeaves van Tonder, Hoenderville
Seriously – it’s 2023 people. Why is there still a need for wild animals to be in circuses? Indeed, why are there even circuses at all these days? Especially since your average surf lineup is choked to the gills with surfers acting like wild animals, with all the decorum, dignity and social grace of the average circus. Not unlike the SA Parliament in other words. Stovepipe Simele, Port Cactus
Can any other surfers please help me out? My brand new wetsuit (only surfed twice and rinsed properly after each surf) currently smells like cheese. And Teen Spirit! Yeah! Hey! Yay! A Mulatto, Albino
The surf wax scented candles from Mr Zogs have to be a better invention than Twitter. Anus Smith, Mount Sack
Is it just me; but when the Surf Charts indicate an extremely strong gale force wind at night; do you wake up the next morning mildly disappointed when you’re not surrounded by extremely small people with a dead witch’s legs protruding from under your house? Whiz Zard, Aus
