Christmas Gift Idea Number 1: Those lawn mowing machines you ride on like a quad bike are pretty cool and all’ that – but why not have a lawn mower shaped like a surfboard you can ride on? It’ll definitely make garden maintenance fun. However, I can’t vouch how fun it’d be riding one over and over and up and down on flat surfaces like, say, soccer and rugby fields and cricket pitches and such. Parsnip Van Tonder, Futurefontein
Even carefree surfers are not immune to the promised deals during Black Friday. However, if retailers really wanted to make some serious money, they’d offer pre-Black Friday specials on helmets, body armour, those transparent shields and other general riot gear to actually prepare a shopper for Black Friday. Think about this for next year’s specials folks. Muskrat Solomons, Cape Diet
Facial hair is like a jersey for your face. So with this summer arriving super early (thank you Climate Change) – off my beard goes when dropping off gifts in the Southern Hemisphere. Santa Claus, North Pole
Surfing in summer certainly presents its challenges in terms of wave quality and consistency as we all know only too well. But the biggest challenge remains being on the “Nice” list and avoiding the “Naughty” list. Be warned therefore; if you’re a surfer, instead of a lump of coal in your Christmas stocking, I’m gonna gift you with surf wax so slippery it’ll make dish soap look like glue. Or perhaps I’ll just take an almighty dump in your stocking. Krampus, Dark German Forests
This year I am going to collect the excess car guards we all see loitering around the parking lots of surf spots, wrap them in Christmas paper and give them as gifts to all my friends and family. Human Human Human, Humansdorp
