Why can’t we ladies wear high heels while surfing? Merry Moer, Monaco
Dunno about you lot, but Starcraft has to be the worst surfing video game I’ve ever played. Partly because it’s about 3 warring spacefaring races and not so much about twiddling that game controller while surfing big barrels and sick moves on waves. But yes, my point is clear. Nap Poleon, Padded Room
Keen to start throwing yourself into big waves but have no idea where to begin? Simply duct tape your nostrils and mouth completely closed so you’re unable to breathe at all, while sitting in a bathtub full of freezing water. Then, just before you pass out, run to (or off) the nearest 3 or 4 story building and hurl yourself off, trying not to hurt yourself. Although a soft landing is recommended, this is simply a bonus – as is trying not to land on a reef in big waves. Double U Tee Ef, WTF
Most of us hate stretching and warming up our muscles before paddling out for a surf. However – there is a far easier and faster way to do this. Simply find the nearest high voltage cable marked: Danger! High voltage! And electrocute yourself to force those muscles into some twitching and tingling! Charred flesh and potential death is a small price to pay when avoiding the tedium of pre-surf stretching. El Ektrishan, El Salvador
Just found one or two okes enjoying a fun little peak on a long stretch of beach? Ruin their day by paddling right out with seventeen of your closest mates despite the fact there are roughly a dozen other empty peaks up and down said stretch of beach. Good times! Funthief Bandit, Ape Town
