You know what? Even in this enlightened day and age of an integrated and accepting society – you really don’t see a lot of garden gnomes in the surf lineup, do you? This must change people, it’s 2023 after all. Apache Pomegranate, Hollywoke
Thinking about 3D printing a clone of John John Florence for part time fun and profit. Contact me for further details. Folly Smit, Diet Point
Lifeguards are like the satellites of the beach. Even if they’re not actually seen, they’re still monitoring every beachgoer. And just like actual satellites in orbit, this thought is creepy as hell and makes me wanna give up surfing and live in my pantry for the next few decades. Whistle Diaper, Platkop
Whether it’s a surf lineup, an ATM, the home affairs department, traffic licensing etc – here’s a handy tip for being surrounded by people invading your personal space – don’t wear deodorant. Of course… if the queue is a particularly long one, you’ll probably develop some kind of fungus. And some people may like that. Also, not wearing deodorant in a surf lineup makes absolutely no difference coz it generally will wash off quickly anyhow. Ok this tip was kinda kak. Musket Odour, Fort Beaufart
Considering the abominable levels of plastic pollution at any given beach, let’s rethink this recycling gig. Instead of a few measly bucks, if we were able to exchange recyclable plastic for tequila shots; the world’s garbage pollution would be solved within a month. Slob Marley, Germacia
