Seriously, one more week of this month-long flat surf spell and I’ll treat said flat spell as an actual magical spell, and take up necromancy or something to pass the time. Lord Muckety-Muck, Mannered Manor
If it wasn’t already official, if you see another surfer in the parking lot wearing an All Blacks jersey before changing to surf, you have every right to snake, drop in and burn them without guilt or shame. Bok B Bok, Springbok
Thanks to the economic downturn, changing global attitudes and new approaches to trends, favoured brands and style, the surf industry has been hit hard once again. Much beloved brands being sold to conglomerates. Decades old companies no longer in existence. Indeed, it’s a travesty how the surfing industry has to shed so many jobs, yet jobs in the telemarketing industry seem as strong and stable as ever. In fact, I personally think it should be perfectly legal to throat punch everyone who works at insurance sales centres. Beef Couch, Hellohowareyouville
Dear Lord Muckety-Muck
Sometimes you just gotta roll with the flat spells my bru. As the old cliche goes – “when in doubt, paddle out.” Even if it’s knee high, dishwater-like slop, just go surfing in whatever you can find. Indeed, often surfing can be like going to the toilet – sometimes it’s not how good it is, but you’re simply compelled to go nonetheless. Poep Strawberry, Asphalt
Wisdom often comes from the most unexpected sources. After mentioning the minor difficulty of surfing in yesterday’s maelstrom wind, the car guard at my local surf spots said: “Nobody told you to be totally bedonnered in your head.”He’s like a taller Yoda – only with less teeth and infinitely more stoned. Luke Skystalker, Dagobah
