Contrary to popular opinion, there are in fact a few things that bother us laidback surfers. However, what the general public seems to think are massive issues to us, barely scratch the surface of what are actual concerns to us waxy’s.
Number 1: Sharks
Right. Let’s just get the most obvious one out the way first. There’s no doubt only a complete fool won’t ever think about sharks, but apart from some truly neurotic surfers (who should rather be playing badminton or going to health spa’s instead if sharks worry them so much), sharks are surprisingly low on the list of things that concern surfers while out in the water. Unless you’re surfing some outta-the-way spot, virtually by yourself. Then you begin to kak yourself.
Number 2: The cold
While suiting up in mid winter, Trident has experienced the following more than once: some random person coming up to a surfer getting into their new ultra-toasty 3/4 front zip only to exclaim, “Jeez, aren’t you gonna freeze?!” To me, this is the equivalent of going up to some golfer teeing off and saying, “Jeez, aren’t you gonna get bored playing this game?!” Sometimes ignorance can be rather sweet. Yes it’s cold, but sometimes the water temp is warmer than the winter air. Yes, we’d prefer tropical conditions year-round wherever we surf, but frankly who cares how cold it is when it’s 4 – 6 foot and off its trolley. Winter brings South Africa our best waves, as well as our colder weather. This is why we have this wonderful modern invention called the W-E-T-S-U-I-T.
Number 3: Rocks
“Aren’t you worried you’ll fall onto the rocks?” Like every other aspect on this list, this to be fair is an occupational hazard. And to be fair to non-surfers, sure, nobody wants to land arse or head first onto a rock resembling a blunt machete. Although there are some gnarly spots out there, with razor-like reefs a whisper away (Kalk Bay, Teahupoo, Full Stop at Seals, Pipe in Hawaii – hell, Pipe in PE), for the most part a little bit of common sense and a bit of caution will allow you to be generally ok navigating most rocks, whether it’s the walk out, paddling out – or actually riding the wave itself. But let’s face it – even a beachbreak with a soft sand bottom will be like hitting concrete if the wave propelling you has enough power. Or you’re just plain unlucky. So until artificial reefs made of marshmallows are invented, we’re kinda stuffed anyhow.
Number 4: Drowning
Now we really are scraping the barrel of utterly dumb kak non-surfers think we’re afraid of. Apart from one or two bizarre exceptions, surfers can generally swim. And frankly, Trident has to assume we can all swim well after years of indulging in our favourite sport. Every now and then, Poseidon will test our limits in the water – but at the same time, it’s up to each and every one of us to know exactly where those individual limits lie. Drowning is always a reality, but unless our name is Kai Lenny and we’re continually charging waves the size of Godzilla, we’re unlikely to concern ourselves with drowning while surfing our local spot at a fun 2 – 3 foot. (Any smaller, one might risk hitting one’s head in the shallows and drowning.)
Number 5: Surfing itself
Sharks. The cold. Reefs. Drowning. Big waves. Ok, big waves – for most of us; that’s another realm altogether. But the fact remains, surfing itself is kinda dangerous. Someone once said (Trident seems to recall it was in fact a famous big wave surfer from some time ago, in more or less the exact same words), “to be alive at all requires some sort of risk.” Despite what our personal paradigm may be, whether it’s decades or only months of surfing; waveriding is not inherently safe. Whether you’re stubbing your toe on a rock before you’ve even reached the shore, or a subject to a horrific impaling on your own board which would make Dracula salivate, every aspect of our sport is rife with danger – and outsiders are correct to question our grasp on sanity for enjoying it so much. Good gravy, this author has even injured himself doing a sharp turn into a parking lot upon seeing really classic looking waves – before even leaving the bloody car. Yes, non-surfers, you may not understand too much about surfing and why we commit so much of our lives to it, but one point we can agree on is – surfing occasionally hurts. But hell’s tits, is it WORTH IT.
