So many things get in the way of enjoying our surfing. One might believe that in the era of social media, the ‘Book and the Insta would keep surfers entranced by those rectangular pieces of hypnotism incarnate which virtually everyone seems to possess these days. And therein lies a great strength of surfing – until a waterproof smartphone is perfected, it is impossible to be distracted by social media while actually surfing. Trident has excluded things like injuries and orbiting the earth, however, tons of other distractions remain. Such as:
Number 1: Death
This is the only distraction from surfing Trident will readily accept as reasonable. It’s hard to surf when you have a mild case of death. Although, we’re still convinced we’ll rise from the surfboard-shaped grave from our surfwax-shaped coffin, paddle out as zombies and start a new trend amongst the hipsters; instead of leashless surfing – lifeless surfing (which is kinda what many of them currently do anyhow.) RIP, or Rip In Peace.
Number 2: Work/school/studying
Similar to death, these are pretty much inevitable distractions, kinda on the same level as going to jail without the decent food. Unless you’re a pro surfer or have gone completely feral on a desert island in the arse-end of the middle of nowhere, living off rainwater and seaweed while surfing yourself silly every day, we all need to work somehow (or go to school and/or study to prepare for work).
Number 3: Significant other
Well this is a minefield right here. Even the most laidback of partners will eventually strip their moer when you say you’re surfing for the third time that weekend, instead of going curtain shopping with said partner or whatever you promised them while daydreaming about the barrel you had at New Pier back in 2008. So treat with caution, and appreciate the fact you actually have a significant other to occasionally distract you from surfing.
Number 4: Eating
Trident has heard tell of guys in the 60’s, surfing Supers with a tupperware tub full of lunch. Now, although the specifics of how said tupperware tub being attached to the surfer was never explained, Trident feels this would be cumbersome to say the least. Just try launching an air when you have a plastic lunchbox full of egg mayo sarmies attached to your surf leash. So yes – we all gotta occasionally retreat back to land to chow. Not to mention using the bathroom. Although, all the really rugged types amongst us will just happily use the ocean as a toilet.
Number 5: Hazardous conditions
Sharks, oil spills, nuclear waste leaks, Himalayan sized waves, half marathon road closures, civil war, beached whales, rioters protesting against the colour of beach sand, the apocalypse – all of these could be construed as hazardous. Now, Trident isn’t advocating putting yourself in mortal danger for a few 2 foot peaks, but just occasionally we as surfers are faced with a choice of whether the waves are really worth the hazard.
