So, how’s this. This is Trident’s 101st Poseidon Post article. So, why didn’t Trident mention the previous one was our 100th? Well frankly, we forgot. How on earth did we miss this milestone? Seriously?! Anyhow, here’s to us – whoop whoop hip hip hooray Trident, pop some champagne on us!
Okay, so, in these heady days of champagne communists, perhaps popping the champagne for our 100th/101st article is somehow apt. Somehow. As yes – our article today focuses on how we’re considering forming a political party. Trident will contest local government in next year’s local SA elections to start. Thereafter? We’ll eye the presidency.
Don’t scoff – why in Martin Potter’s name shouldn’t we form a political party, we say? I mean, most politicians are smug, arrogant and would do anything to avoid actual work. Sound familiar? So yup, we surfers are already overqualified for the job.
Surfers: eco warriors of note.
But seriously though. Surfers are – or at least should be – aware of environmental issues. Both on a local and a global scale. That alone is a virtue. So when in council, and the rest of the political herd are arguing over street name changes and whether they can afford a lavish opening ceremony to celebrate completing a new traffic circle in only 3 years… Trident will be admonishing them all for not fixing the sewers infrastructure, causing effluent overflow onto our beaches.
While other local politicians are debating what bonus to pay themselves? For the near-insurmountable task of replacing a single stop sign in the townships? Well, Trident will be fighting for funds to be directed to regular beachfront patrols and secure valuables lockers.
While other officials are trying to get rich with dodgy tenders? Trident will be campaigning for wavepools to be built in disadvantaged areas, giving all equal access to the sport.
While other politicians are accusing one another of being counter-revolutionary? Here at Trident, we will be focussed on learning full revolution airs and magnanimously teaching others the same.
If you vote for Trident, we’ll ensure days off to surf when it’s cranking.
Trident will also endeavour a work hours swap programme. So any surfer will be endorsed to go surfing when the waves are pumping. In exchange? Well, just make up for those work hours lost to surfing after hours. Without loss of income nor water time. Simple. The bigger question is, why don’t we do this already?
Trident will determine what “pumping surf” is defined as. As well as which surfers will qualify for this. In other words our buddies only. Okay to be fair, that’s nepotism and corruption, but once again – that’s exactly what qualifies us to run for local government in the first place.
We will also ensure tax rebates on all new surf equipment, surf travel and surf injuries. Of course, well will also endorse as well as tax breaks when donating old equipment.
So in conclusion, vote Trident. It’s the right (and left) political thing to do. To riff on Trump, Make All Surfing Excellent. Or MASE for short.
