Jeez, the car guards at my local surf spot could really do with a wash more often. So in the name of Ubuntu, charity, empathy and my sense of smell I propose instead of giving them money, rather spray them with a water pistol. Then the next car can like, throw shampoo, conditioner and soap at them. And finally, another car can use a water pistol to rinse them off again. It’s like the opposite of a car wash. Let nobody accuse me of not caring for my fellow man. Noodle Gland, Paw-paw-upon-Tyre
Amongst the coat hangers, selfie sticks and other assorted kak the dudes at the traffic lights sell, I’ve noticed crappy kiddies ‘foam boogie boards. From here the next logical step is for some random oke at the robots to sell an Al Merrick or a FireWire. Then finally, custom surfboards hand shaped while you wait the red robot out. Diaper Prinsloo, Dust Bowl
Many species of animals (frogs, fish, sharks, etc) actually sleep with their eyes wide open. Science bro. And the same is true of politicians. And apparently, also of kooks in the water not paying any attention in the surf lineup. Moose Leashless, Static Dump
Anyone who has surfed this 2026 winter season in South Africa will no doubt agree how poor the conditions were overall. However, as a core local at *unnamed surf spot*, our ol’ local surf spot is showing signs of life again. Like a butterfly freed from a cocoon, a duckling into a swan. Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes, like a zombie reanimated from a partially eaten corpse. Wait, what. Chicken Thigh Mashego, Cape Lull
It seems like a daily occurrence where I surf to hear some doos revving his car and/or motorcycle so loudly it sounds like a dinosaur with bronchitis. Yes, we can hear you from the water even, you obnoxious chops. Sadly however, these clueless douches driving tacky, expensive, flashy vehicles think they are drawing admiring glances. However, chances are, the looks they are getting are probably mostly people wondering where on the car or bike they’ve stashed the perlemoen. Canopy Mkhize, Back-of-Bakkie
