Watching sick surf clips before paddling out. Listening to loud and angry music; punk rock and metal back in the day, hardcore rap and such these days.
Hardly imaginative ways to get all pumped up before a surf. So let’s look into a few less stock standard suggestions from Trident on how to get yourself uber-frothed before a surf – regardless of how good, bad or mediocre the conditions are.
Number 1: Overdose on caffeine.
This is a family website. Well, more or less. So we’re not suggesting anything stronger than caffeine. Also, anything stronger is unlikely to help your surfing. So, caffeine as a suggested legal stimulant. Could work, but it could also have you gritting your teeth manically, staring at the horizon while rushing to put your wetsuit on. Fun times.
Trident once heard an anecdote from a credible source, about Italo Ferreira crushing 5 or 6 of his sponsored energy drinks before surfing. Now, it may not do his body good in the long run, but seeing his flips, Supermans and the like proves it certainly does help his surfing. So for us mere mortals, having two extra cups of coffee, or two cans of Score may just make you paddle like a penguin in heat. Or it may give you the jitters, affect your nervous system and make your pulse rate go fast enough to burst a vein in your neck. We still gotta look into this one we guess.
Number 2: Speak to Mr /Miss/Mrs Optimism about the conditions before you surf.
“It’s going off my bru!” says the eternal surf optimist, whose body odour smells of Mrs Palmers and breath of scented sunblock. Note, it is critical to ensure the Optimist is sincere about their enthusiasm. If they’re naturally deceitful or distrustful, move on to someone more genuine about how good the surf is. That out the way, nobody can deny how their level of optimism over any and all surf isn’t infectious. After all, who would you rather hang out with – Grumpy Gus, who always says the waves are worse than they actually are – or the oke that gets super pumped for even 2 foot days? As long as it’s clean?
After all, if there’s a wave – it’s surfable on, well, some kind of wave craft. This same dude will also be super complimentary about your surfing generally, which is also good for the old self image. Just ensure there isn’t too much toxic positivity emanating from this character. Which is easy to identify if they claim your bogged rail turns look good enough for the ‘CT. Or they’re claiming the surf is insanely good. When in reality the waves are from a storm so severe, the wrecks of World War Two battleships are washing aground so often, car guards are trying to claim tips from them.
Number 3: Pretend you’re playing for the Springboks.
Basically, the key here is to visualise yourself as somebody about to do something special. At least sporting wise. Imagine you’re paddling out in a WSL Final, with a potential World Title on the line. Pretend you’re Siya, blasting out our hallowed anthem. Picture yourself as the final batsman in a T20, with 6 runs off 5 balls to win. Basically, just imagine the surf you’re about to paddle out in will be a session that will be for the ages. Even if it’s onshore and rippy, and smells suspiciously of sewage from the drainage pipe nearby, while drunken students nearby implore you to teach them how to surf.
Number 4: Regress to preadolescence.
Have you ever met an unhappy 11 year old kid surfing? No? Neither have we. But, have you ever met an unhappy thirty something-plus year old surfer? Yup, pretty much every session.
The goal here is to remember the basic tenet of surfing. Which is simply to have fun. Sure, this is in contrast to Point number three, which is to take the surf more seriously than it deserves. But hark back to the heady days of Junior School. Before really fun things like broken streetlights, load shedding, traffic, bills and annual medical checkups slowly but surely began to invade your psyche. Trident says, think like a kid and you’ll have fun like a kid. But don’t regress too far backwards in your life – like say, the bed wetting era.
Number 5: Pretend you’re Bruce Brown/Sir Edmund Hillary/Neil Armstrong/etc.
In other words, pretend you’re doing something that has never been achieved before. You could even see yourself as a fictional character, like Frodo/Luke Skywalker/Indiana Jones/Beavis and Butthead etc. But here’s one inexorable aspect of surfing. You kinda are already doing something that can never be repeated, as every wave is unique. You may get similar waves, or worse or better in the future (or even in a single session), but once a wave has crested and broken (and hopefully been surfed), it’s lost forever. Unless some doos drops in on you. Or you falter right at the very ledge of Mount Doom. (ie: you hold back just as you’re taking off.) Although Trident will be naming some or other new surf spot Mount Doom, we can’t believe nobody has thought of that yet…
