Question 1: Cleaning a surfboard, which is better – turps or meths?
Question 2: Then, which tastes better – turps or meths? (Asking for a friend) Hassles Hoff, Hofmeyer
Gonna start eating whole packets of soggy Cheese Curls in the surf lineup. Coz that’ll just confuse all kinds of heck outta everyone. Including myself. Thulani Too Larney, Punishmentville
At one stage, water births were considered extremely therapeutic for both mothers and newborn infants alike. Not sure if water births are still a thing, but hey. So I’d like to suggest, to all future surfers as well as expectant moms – go surf and try giving birth while being barrelled. I can’t imagine a better entry into this world, yeah! Hello Tosis, Betaville
Some left wing extremists in South Africa have stated they want to expropriate the sea without compensation. First off, let’s just assume that this is not the stupidest thing ever uttered by a human being. Also, let’s assume these are rational human beings who uttered this tripe. Let’s also use selfish surfer logic and claim nobody owns the ocean. In which case, I’d suggest said extremists swim out to the most heavily localised surf spot they can, and announce they now own said surf spot. We’ll take bets on what happens next. Chainmail Van Schalkwyk, Mount Sensible
Around a month ago, I had an unfortunate collision with my own surfboard’s fins – ow! Anyhow, now I have a pretty gnarly scar on my forehead. It kind of looks like a lightning bolt. I reckon I’ll get my Hogwarts letter any day now! Parry Hotter, Warthog
