Just as there are various stages of grief, addiction, video games (particularly old school video games) and Coachella – see what we did there?! Stages?! Ah c’mon. Our sophisticated comedy is wasted here. Anyhow, our point is there are various stages involved when it comes to buying a new board. So in inimitable fashion, Trident reviews the various stages of buying a new surfboard.
Be it a solid second hand stixk; or an off the rack pristine model, or a custom blade from your local shaper – it’s kinda an emotional roller coaster that only experienced surfers will understand. So unless you’re a seasoned pro being handed a new quiver every week on a silver platter; let’s delve into the stages of buying surfboards – and review each stage accordingly.
Giving the idea of buying a new board some serious thought.
Usually, said serious thought begins with one simple concept: “I need a new board”. Or more honestly: “I want a new board”. ‘Coz unless your current (and only) surfboard resembles expired cottage cheese, the “need” for a new surfboard is more accurately the desire for a new surfboard. However, we don’t judge. We all want nice things.
Anyway, generally the next step evolves the initial thought process. You go online to check surfboard models, dimensions, etc. You discuss board types with mates or shaper. You may even chat new boards with the semi-sentient fungi who work behind the counter at your brick and mortar surf shop, who hail from Welkom and have only just seen the ocean for the first time a month ago.
Twinnies. Longboards. Mid lengths. Performance boards. Fun performance boards. How many fins? What kind of tail? What volume to get? It’s all so much to consider! So many variables for a surfboard! Buggr’it, Ill just order 6 boards to be safe.
Trident reviews actually putting some money down on the darn thing.
Five outta five stars. Only because you can’t really mess this stage up as it’s only essentially plans for now.
- Disclaimer: if you’re paying cash for a second hand or a new board straight off the rack, only parts of this will apply. So you may want to skip ahead a stage or two.
For most of us, surfboards are kinda pricey but worth it. At some point however, there may be a small taint of buyers’ regret. This is totally normal. Just consider the price of golf clubs or entering a league (of any sport) and your doubts should be assuaged. If not, it’s probably because although the prices of SA boards are actually pretty reasonable, surfboards themselves are only just slightly more durable than double ply toilet paper. Rest assured, your board should be fine unless it’s glassed too light for your weight. Or of course, some knob in the water (human or reef) dings it. Not lekker.
Three outta five ‘coz it’s natural to think twice about expenses.
Getting the new board home and making it your own.
Trident loves customising further upon receiving our pristine boards. Personalised artwork, stickers – the woiks. Many surfers do their own version of customising, even if it’s only applying wax and/or grip. Maybe it’s something interesting like tinted resin. Maybe it’s just removing old stickers and/or respraying an older board you’d bought second hand. Or even just revising a current board.
- A thought; art and/or colour prevent the inevitable foam discolouration looking so obvious. Just saying.
No two surfboards are identical. So unless you buy mass produced soulless pop out boards (shame on you), make your board your own we say. Detailing your board (while letting it cure), is a way of bonding with it. Just like you would a beloved pet or indeed, a romantic partner. So, short of buying your new surfboard dinner and drinks, customise! Sadly during this time period, your fondness for the new board may wear off slightly. Also, the infamous new board curse of the surf conditions becoming utterly abysmal is real folks. Trust us. For this reason alone, we go two outta five stars.
And finally, Trident reviews surfing the board for the first time.
You better just make sure the first surf with it has some halfway decent waves. Otherwise – thou shall be disappointed with your new stick. Fact. And here’s the kicker, you’ll probably be disappointed even if the waves are killer. Because you ordered the wrong tail. Or it has too much – or too little – volume for you. Or you bought it second hand and you never realised the one fin box was in its moer. So go all the way back to stage one and rethink your choices.
One out of five stars. Or maybe five out of five. Just depends on the day, hey? This concludes our Trident reviews of the various stages of buying a new surfboard.
