Ghosts. Goblins. Ghouls. Melted wax. You know what that means folks. Yup, Halloween week is upon us. So Trident thought we’d jump on the bandwagon and go all kinds of spooky for this Top Five list.
It’s kinda odd though if you think about it. Like most extreme sports, you’d expect surfers to be pretty much fearless. After all, these loonies are often seen throwing themselves into waves the size of Kanye West’s ego. Or surfers revel in dredging waves breaking over blade-like reefs shallower than the average politician’s apology when caught with both hands in the cookie jar. Otherwise, you’re apt to find surfers casually paddling through shark infested waters as if in the rabbit hutches of a petting zoo. Or travelling to far flung countries riddled with tropical diseases, volatile politics (like the US), fanatical militias, venomous beasts, volcanoes, monsoons, earthquakes and potholes. Nevertheless, despite surfer’s fearless reputations, they are surprisingly terrified of quite a few unexpected things. Thus, we suggest some very novel Halloween costume ideas calculated to scare surfers right outta their boardshorts. Such as:
Number 1: A very, very VERY short witch.
AKA: A Flat Spell. Geddit?! Ah, Trident’s wit is wasted here – but see where we are going with this?! Our costume ideas are far more cerebral than mere rubber masks and sheets with eye holes cut into them. A short witch, ie: a flat spell will make even the most courageous of us tremble at the knees. One flat day is one thing. A few days is another. But a whole flat spell? A week, or longer? Too horrible to contemplate, we say.
Number 2: Pepe Le Pew.
No doubt many of you Millennial and Gen Z types have no clue who that is. And no doubt many of you Millennial and Gen Z types would be totally horrified to learn that this Looney Tunes character would basically harass any female of virtually any species, if they just happened to resemble a skunk, Yes, Pepe Le Pew is an anthropomorphised skunk. As in: skunked. Which is terrifying to any surfer. Days, weeks, months or even years of planning to surf somewhere specific, only to arrive and see the conditions appear to be like a very, very VERY short witch. See above.
Number 3: A giant bell.
Huh? What? Well that’s confusing. Until you think about it a little bit. What sounds does a bell make? Ring ring? Naw, that’s a phone y’all! Okay, it goes ding dong. Correct! Well, we’ll focus on the ding part, you check?! Clever ain’t it? What is more terrifying than discovering an unholy hole in your pristine surfboard? Ding! Like a pothole in the new 10 metre stretch of road the municipality only took 17 years to complete, a ding should strike terror into any surfer. Like we said, cerebral ideas here.
Number 4: A tin of sardines.
Trident is getting ever more obscure here. But think about this one. How does the old saying go? Packed tighter than a can of sardines? Packed? As in – packed, like crowded? No? Not obvious? Well, how about a giant suitcase then – that still counts as packed, right? Regardless, whatever Halloween costume represents packed – in turn represents a crowd. And that is just sheer horror for any reasonable surfer. Shudder.
Number 5: A snake.
Well this one is plain easy. Although, the Halloween costume could just as well be an artist (drop in artist) or a fireman (burn) or something else from surf jargon. However, a snake is the only thing a non surfer may find slightly scary on Halloween. Of course, this means having to wiggle around in a sleek snake costume while going house to house trick or treating, but slap a surf sticker on the costume’s head and the effect will be complete. Er, we think so at least.
