So even Trident has mentioned that scene in the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (as well as its source novel). Sheer adrenaline when the dwarves are escaping Legolas’s elves. They’re cruising in actual wooden barrels down a raging river… that surely counts as well, being barrelled hey? Thorin Oakenshield, Middle Earth.
Consider how terrifying the South African economy is at the moment! So I reckon we need to seriously consider alternative forms of income. And I’m not one for criminality – but yet, smuggling. My suggestion is the hordes of Aussie surfers descending upon J Bay in particular and the country in general. I say we approach them for a skelm, shady black market Tim Tams smuggling operation. Remember like in Baywatch ou’s smuggled diamonds and stuff in hollowed out surfboards? Well, so too can we smuggle delicious chocolate biscuits out of Australia in carved out compartments ins surfboards. That’s how to make money in South Africa’s failing economy. You’re welcome! Snuff Hyena, Central Rump
Here’s a big thumbs up to the human being who first discovered fire. Shot doos, you were the first poephol to put carbon emissions in the air and send us down a path of rampant pollution. Although, thanks to our unwavering addiction to fossil fuels, the materials required to make decent surfboard were also discovered. So, balance. Vet Kook, Thong
Until recently, there were quite a number of signs at surf beaches with a brief summary of surf etiquette and safety. Not so many these days though? I dunno if they were stolen, vandalised or simply rotted away due to typical local municipal neglect and apathy. Anyway, a real pity though. Coz as a core surfer, you could always orderisomeone out the water to “read the rules”. If that didn’t work? Well, one could at the very least donner someone over the head with said sign if they flagrantly ignored those rules. Xholani Sulphate, Elasticville
There appears to be a new car guard at my local surf break’s parking lot. Sure, this guy is older than the 7 deadly sins, skinnier than a 90’s surfboard and looks like he couldn’t stop a determined snail in its tracks, much less a criminal. Still, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and swing a few bucks his way. Bellybutton Fumes, North Mould
