Honestly, so many drivers just don’t understand what those pretty red and green lights mean at traffic lights any more. And no doubt those very same ignorant drivers are the very same imbeciles in surf lineups constantly getting in the way and cutting people off. Like graceless manatees. We need driver’s licences for the road, why not surfer’s licences? Although to be fair, a driver’s licence is no guarantee of competence on the road. So why would a surf licence make any difference? Well, I guess I’m sorry you had to read this pointless statement. Fluorescent Turd, Cape Nappy
Many, many new surfers in the water these days. So many. So when there’s a collision (and there inevitably will be), hopefully everyone involved will keep their cool and simply mutter a disappointed “my f*k, Marelize.” An old and stale reference a few years ago. But now there’s a locally produced movie coming out based on that once famous comment. So ja, relevant and stuff. Ai Yai Yai, Eishville
I have a rocky history with lifeguards (including me threatening to donner the one dude with a rusty wheel spanner if he dropped in on me again). However, if lifeguards can be friendly with me – South Africans can somehow be united. Dopa Minecraft, Blokkieshol
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: my spelling is exemplary, my typing is kak. Therefore, when typing up a chat to my mate complimenting his surf photography skills, what I meant to say was: “I’ve seen your shots, they’re pretty impressive!” Instead, I accidentally typed: “I’ve seen your shits, they’re pretty impressive!” In my defence, the i and o are clearly right next to each other on the keyboard. Swinger Swiegelaar, Ontplofadder
A 7am start to any surf competition?! On any given Saturday morning?! By golly, I personally think all competitors already deserve a medal for not still drooling on our pillows at that unholy time on a weekend morning. Huzzah! Impure Lard, Unseen Point
