Well, I really did try to improve my surfing over this past Festive Season. I really did try, I promise. I have at least progressed beyond a 10 foot soft top board. However, it is clear to me I have more chance of winning the Quidditch World Cup than ever being able to do a decent cutback. Mbambo Nonsense, Pancreas-upon-Stratford
Beware all, and take heed in 2026! More than ever before, the signs of the impending apocalypse are really obvious for this year! And it’s not coz of Trump nor Putin nor the Middle East or whatever; it’s coz there are approximately 2 417 reality shows about dancing and not a single new show about surfing. Ray ‘O Sunshine, Dooms Bay
You know what would be pretty cool this year? Instead of my mates simply texting me messages or even clips when there are sick waves, they’d just summon me to the beach with the Bat Signal. Wayne Bruce, Motham
Just came back from a pretty fun surf, which alleviated this pretty minor bummer upon returning to my car. Thankfully no shattered windows or anything as gnarly as that, just the ol’ windscreen splatter courtesy of our flying friends! Nonetheless, I’m not entirely sure what species of bird it was, but judging from the ludicrous amount of poop – I’m pretty sure a Nazgul crapped all over my windshield. Earwax McCready, Udun
One thing we learned from last year is how there are just some things that will never just quietly quit and call it a day. Things such as: George RR Martin fans patiently waiting for him to finish “The Winds of Winter”, the humble evergreen mullet, former president Jacob Zuma and of course – kook surfers continually paddling around the pack and taking every wave they see. Arty Choke, Louthouse
