If you don’t already know just how bad discarded surfboards, surf leashes, old wetsuits, fins etc are for the environment – let Trident spell it out for you. They are V-E-R-Y B-A-D. The science of how bad our old flotsam and jetsam of surf equipment is for the planet is irrefutable and well documented, and makes for incredibly depressing reading. Particularly if you’re a Green type. And, as surfing requires unwavering dedication to the outdoors, you bloody well better be a Green type if you’re a fan of frolicking in waves on a piece of foam. Anyway, here at Trident, we prefer to focus on the solutions rather than the problems. So instead of focusing on landfills stacked with broken boards, Trident’s Surf Science will be presenting a series of some pretty rad ideas of what to do with your obsolete, damaged, discarded or just plain old equipment.
The hard stuff: old surfboards and fins
Many broken surfboards end up being up-cycled into cool things like surf competition trophies, or art and/or decorations to hang up in bars, coffee shops and the like – and there’s no pretty much no other accepted use for old, totally stuffed boards. I’ve heard of enterprising types breaking surfboards up into little pieces to use as insulation in walls which is kind of practical but displays a singular lack of imagination. But surfboards and surf fins are weird; extremely hard but rather delicate at the same time. Sorta like seashells, glass, human skulls and any football player looking for a penalty when an opposition player brushes past them ever so gently. So, instead of the typical budget security walls with bits of broken beer bottles cemented in the top, why not jagged old bits of surfboards and razor-like old fins? The aesthete in us all could probably arrange said bits of busted carbon and/or resin into something resembling an abstract seascape with waves (and shark fins), with the added bonus of castrating any would-be burglars. So there’s one option.
Another option is to utilise the light yet hard structure of old fins and boards by carefully cutting them to size, then painstakingly building them into a custom suit of armour. Light enough to move around freely in, and hard enough to deflect pebbles. Only pebbles. Coz they sure as hell won’t stop bullets, blades or bull sharks. Still, a completely useful way to re-purpose fins and boards. Speaking of blades, instead of tossing them in the trash one could take old fins, and sharpen the edges fine enough to shave with. In fact, some sociopathic surfers seem to do this to their brand new fins. So you may get lucky and end up with one in your board or neck or something, and you can simply take it home and not worry about buying razorblades any time soon.
If you manage to find some fairly intact fins and you happen to be an illegal street racer – voila! – you can add them to your souped-up Golf for an entirely custom, badass look. In fact, with some effort, old surfboards can be turned into pretty rad spoilers for pretty much any vehicle. A bakkie with a spoiler on its canopy? Sheer innovation! You heard it here on Trident first, team. Speaking of sleek styling; why not take those boring cycling helmets, and add some discarded surf fins to the sides and top – for some seriously cool aerodynamic effects. Will work wonders for your cycling speed, your social life – debatable. You can even try add old surf fins to strategic areas of your bicycle for serious speed. That’s literal Up-cycling folks.
Of course, it wouldn’t be too far fetched to imagine how one could convert large pieces of busted surfboard into wings or similar, and try recreate the Wright brothers’ original flight. Although this isn’t recommended by Trident or anyone with a fully functioning brain.
It would take forever to list potential uses for old surf materials that would otherwise simply end up blighting our earth. Low cost building materials, tools, toys, percussive musical equipment, sci fi movie props, replicas of ancient Viking weapons, budget cutlery, ninja stars, boomerangs, playing cards, spare car doors, snowshoes, diving boards, gongs, tennis rackets, etc etc. But whatever you do, don’t just throw them away. Or use them to hurt anyone else. (Editor’s note: This final sentence is a legal requirement.) Check out Part Two here.
