I consider myself an all round nice guy. Yes, I know in this day and age, even the term “nice guy” has weirdly negative connotations, but anyway. I’m a nice guy in the original sense of the phrase. Thus, I would never call an actual kook, a kook. Instead, I say really nicely: “Nooit bru you’re not a kook, you’re just really unlucky at surfing. Gherkin Curtain, Burpin’ Twerkin
It’s really tough being a surfer in South Africa with all the theft, muggings and general robbery going on. My car has been broken into so many times, all I have left is my wetsuit, my surfboard and only one of my kidneys. I’m typing this from a mate’s cell, and here comes some sus-looking dude. Hey, he’s pulling out a knife! Hey wait a minute nnsnq8e9e8q1099$&zckjs jdbnb lkjlkj,mn,zey21468cxvhhjk
I’ve given up on the corporate world rat-race to focus on more quality time with my family. Of course the bonus is more surfing time as well! So I quit my high powered finance job, and I am a now freelance boardbag repair mechanic and stay at home dolphin trainer. Han Sanitiser, Hair-in-the-Drain
People have sometimes told me I’m some kind of surf genius. Maybe even a surf savant. Okay, so nobody has actually said stuff like that, but they really should. For example, when it comes to surfing, I can:
- Tell the difference between a shortboard and a longboard without even needing to ride either of them
- Tell the number of fins on any surfboard by counting them
- Wiggle faster than most people walk when my wetsuit is only around my shins
- Easily smell the difference between surf wax and any kind of pizza, based only on scent
- Teach any species of stoat to surf
Harmonica Leper, Sozzletown
I may not have a moustache or a mullet, but I do have several surfboards, two wetsuits, a fair singing voice, the ability to wax a baord without looking down, a month’s worth of traffic light flyers in my car, mild acne and a devil may care attitude. Oddly Specific, Nopeville
