Folks, we’re getting to winter – and them winds gonna howl ekse. I even tried to warn a beginner surfer paddling out the other day that it was about to blow a gale force. “I’m not afraid of a little wind!” The cheeky kook replied. I then saw a headline only a few days later, about a South African surfer found at Norwegian Antarctic Research Station, hypothermic, bordering on insane and gibbering the same phrase over and over: “I’m not afraid of a little wind! I’m not afraid of a little wind!” Squeaky “Toad” Ruler, Fort Stain
A coupla mates and I were discussing other surfers paddling in your way while you’re on the wave. And we reached the unanimous agreement; riding over people in your way is mean, petty and downright dangerous. Rather blow your wave than hurt them, yourself or your boards. Even if they’re clearly wrong and it’s entirely their fault they’re in the way. But… if you’re in the barrel… then you’re allowed to ride over even a pregnant woman. Nobody messes with another surfer’s tube brah. Stoat April, Sowhatville
When are drop-ins actually of benefit to the surfer being dropped in on? Never you say?! Oh, I beg to differ! It’s almost proper winter time shortly in South Africa, so here’s a tip for that low setting sun directly in your eyes. When taking off on right handers basically blinded; wait for the biggest, fattest behemoth of an oke to take a wave and then take off behind them. Said giant bulk will block the glare properly. He can’t even accuse you of any disrespect nor misdemeanour as he is basically burning you. You’re welcome. Bristle Jones, Jonestown
So the other day I was wearing my surf hoodie, thinking how dull and boring the damn thing looks! So I thought, why not novelty devil horns superglued on it?! Right up until that moment, I had never really regretted any of my life life decisions leading up to that point. Twangy Scalp, Poefadder
The first of May this week is the public holiday for our nation’s hard workers cunningly named “Workers’ Day”. So, in advance – while many of us surfers are enjoying a few waves hopefully on said public holiday – I’d like to personally wish all workers across all industries in our country. So from the bottom of my heart, for all your efforts across South Africa, I thank all our diligent, competent, committed, hard working and wonderfully dedicated workers. All 17 of you. Magnifying Ass, Port Wart
