There’s a certain popular superhero who wears a unitard. Well, they all do really. Indeed, as surfers in wetsuits, we kinda look like superheroes ourselves. Without the capes. Although we currently do wear masks sometimes I guess. I digress. Anyway, this particular superhero was bitten by a radioactive spider, and if he had been a surfer, he’d be able to pull off triple reverse alley oops with ease.
For all we know, this dude is actually a surfer, yet this hobby was never explored in the comics. Regardless, his arachnid powers of sticking to any surface would be the envy of surfers. How awesome would it be to stick to your board like corruption charges to a crooked politician? What’s that you say? Corruption charges never stick to crooked politicians? And you’d be right. And neither do we stick to our boards, much to our dismay. So let’s explore the science of sticking to our boards within the limitations of our current technology and our human fragility.
Basically it’s a 2 party state. Wax vs Grip. Officially, no surfer has ever explored the potential of duct tape or super glue – so yes; it’s only Wax vs Grip. Right off the bat let’s be clear – either option are about as good for the environment as a dash of arsenic in the morning coffee is for the average human being. There are organic bars of wax and environmentally friendly deckpads available, which may ease the guilt of the green friendly crowd – but that’s not the topic of discussion. Once and for all, let’s figure out which of the two options is most beneficial to your surfing.
Wax
Wax has been around far longer in surfing terms, and was even mentioned in a Beach Boys song from the 1960’s. As mentioned above, it contains some pretty gnarly un-green stuff like paraffin, but also often contains cool scents such as coconut or bubblegum. I’ve been begging for years for a beer scent, only to be ignored like an annoying stepchild. Oh well, the industry’s loss. Expect Beer Scented Trident Wax on the market soon. You heard it here first folks. Anyhow, surf wax is temperature specific as most of us know. Just try tropical wax in Cape Town, and be prepared to slide off your board like the above mentioned corruption charges would off a slimy politician. On the other hand, try cold water wax on the east coast, and watch it melt off your board like the bad guys’ faces at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Assuming you have the correct wax for your region, wax has to be continually applied (and then eventually cleaned off when it starts looking like a Greek man’s five o’ clock shadow), but this is a good thing, as it builds ridges and troughs which adjust to the contours of your feet.
Grip
Grip was no doubt influenced by skateboard decks from the 70’s and 80’s, and has evolved into a must have – at least the tail pad has – for most modern shortboarders. Unlike wax, you only have to apply grip once. However, unlike how easy it is to remove wax; removing grip from a surfboard deck resembles one of the twelve tasks of Hercules. Grip isn’t affected by water temperature, and already has built in texture to help keep your feet secured to the deck of your board. However, front deck grip tends to grate your chest as if your torso was unripe cheese. Less so a problem in wetsuit conditions, but in warmer areas it’ll make your nipples resemble raw liver. Front grip has made a comeback in recent years, but this issue continues to plague.
These days, most surfers deal with the pros and cons of both by having a front wax/tail pad combo, getting the best of both while avoiding the individual pitfalls at the same time. For now, I guess it’s the answer. At least until someone irradiates a spider (or a fly, or a gecko, or a slug) with gamma rays and manages to get the little guy to give them a little love bite.
